Bad Reputation; Shawn Mendes

21. Waiting

"I'll make it up to you I promise."

•••

America

The first few periods went by dreadfully. I mean the glares from a lot of girls. The insults from the guys since I'm no longer someone that they can get with. It's annoying cause you can never please anyone.

I know Shawn had said not to let this all get to me but it did. Not so much that it was about me and hearing my name in people's mouth. It was the fact that people even started to hate Shawn. Like girls are saying how he's stupid and clearly doesn't have good taste. Then guys are well they're guys they have no filter.

I started to think I was giving him a bad reputation. Before I met Shawn I remembered hearing about him because I hadn't met him. All I heard were the noble things. How smart and funny he was, how everyone loved him.

And now because he's in a relationship with me all I hear are the bad things. People had changed their whole view on him and it made me upset. To know I caused this and that people will hate him or think differently about him because of me. It makes the old me come out.

The old me that used to care so much about what people thought. The one who looked out for everyone and anyone. The one I tried so hard not to be was coming out and it scared me. I didn't want to be that girl anymore, I hid her away and now I don't know what to do. I don't like the stress and anxiety that it is causing me.

The bell signaling lunch drew me out of my thoughts. I packed up my notes before heading out of the classroom. I followed behind all of the other students before heading to my locker.

"Hey you." I heard a familiar voice say.

I looked over towards the voice, "Hi."

"What's up? You look a little down." Shawn said.

I thought about our talk earlier today and how Shawn said he wished I was able to open up to him. To just be able to tell him how I felt and not be so closed up.

"I uh...okay I'm feeling...I feel upset. I don't want to worry you." I tried to tell him why I was feeling upset but I couldn't.

He gave me a sad smile, "Hey why don't we go outside and talk a little more privately?"

I just nodded before we both walked out towards the front of the school. We walked out of the door and towards the side of the school. It was pretty empty out here which was cool so we sat under the tree.

"So what's been bugging you?" Shawn asked as I sat between his legs and laid against his chest.

"It's just what everyone is saying." I told him somewhat honestly.

Shawn rubbed his hands up and down my arms, "Mer I told you not to worry about what they say-"

"It's not about what they're saying about me. It's about what they're saying about you." I told him honestly.

"Hun it's not bothering me." He chuckled.

"But it bothers me, cause it's because of me. I am the reason everyone is saying this stuff about you. And I don't like that it's because of me." I told him actually opening up to him.