Giving Up

Chapter 7

 Lillie was in a coma for three days, and her mom never left her side. James couldn't bring himself to ask for time with her, so he stayed in the waiting room. He had called work and told them that he would not be in and explained that Lillie was in a coma, and that he was there when she was attacked. They weren't happy that he refused to come to work, but he said that they would either accept it, or they could fire him. He didn't care at that point, he was not leaving. He forced himself to go home and shower and change his clothes each day, but was never away from the hospital for more than an hour and a half.

When Lillie opened her eyes for the first time, she was confused as to where she was and what had happened to her. She started piecing it all together, and in one big flood of memories, she knew that she was attacked. She looked around the room and didn't see Jamie anywhere. She started to cry in fear that he had left her. Her mom rushed to her side and kissed her face whispering to her that everything was going to be okay. Lillie didn't believe her because it didn't feel like anything would ever be okay again.

The doctor came in and detached her breathing tube, and explained to her that her throat was going to hurt for a while so she might not want to talk. She ignored him and instantly started calling Jamie's name. Her mom leaned down to her. "It's okay honey, he hasn't left. He was letting me stay with you, but he is right outside. He has camped out in the waiting room for the last three days. I will go get him for you." Lillie looked at her mom and nodded with appreciation. She hadn't realized that she had been out for three days.

While they waited for Lillie's mom to go get James, the doctor told her about her injuries and the surgery. "You will have a small scar, and you will need to stay in bed and relax for a while. Once we know you are stable, we will transfer you out of the critical care unit into a private room, and I am hoping that you can go home in a few days."

Jamie walked into Lillie's room and tried to give her his best smile. His heart pounded in his chest, and he was so relieved to see her eyes open. The last time he saw her was when they had kicked him out of her room because she stopped breathing. He went to her side and kissed her forehead gently. The swelling had gone down in her face and her bruises had faded to green. She still looked pretty beat up. "Lilly Pad, you are still the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on." He sat down beside her and wiped a tear from her eyes. "When this is all over with, I am going to take you home and take care of you. I'm never going to let you get hurt again. I love you baby, I love you so much."

Lillie knew that he meant every word. She could see the honesty in his eyes, and was glad to see that the guilt he wore in his eyes last time she saw him was faded. She knew that he would always worry about her, and she loved him even more for it. She reached for his hand, and the two of them stayed silent and just held onto each other. Lillie looked at Jamie and memorized everything about him. The wrinkles by his eyes from not sleeping well, his face looked sunken in from not eating, and he looked exhausted. "It's okay now Jamie, I am here now so just rest your eyes."

James laid his head against her bed while holding onto her hand. He let his eyes close and he drifted off to sleep. He hadn't been sleeping long when he woke quickly to Lillie telling him that everything was okay. He had been dreaming. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the attacker on top of her and it made him sick. He didn't know how he would ever get that memory to fade from his mind. Lillie squeezed his hand and assured him that everything was going to be better. Lillie could only have one visitor at a time, so James told her that he was going to go get coffee and let someone else come see her for a while.

When James left the room, he sunk down into a chair in the waiting room and allowed himself to break down again. He was so relieved that she was awake, that she was alive. He thought he had lost her forever. He looked up from his thoughts to see Seth standing next to him. Seth sat down and joined him, both of them not saying a word. Kay and Seth had taken turns going back to Lillie's apartment to sleep and shower. No one had really been eating since the attack happened. No one seemed to have an appetite.

After another week in the hospital, Lillie was discharged. Her parents had to go back home although they hated to leave her. They knew that James and her friends would take good care of her. They said their goodbyes, and hugged her tight while letting the tears slide down their faces. They walked away, afraid to look behind because they weren't strong enough to leave if she looked at them with tears. They didn't know how to walk away from their daughter when she was so weak and so emotionally hurt.

James offered to take Lillie back to his house so that she didn't have to try to conquer the stairs. She was weak after being in bed for a week and a half. She still wasn't completely healed from her surgery or her injuries. James tucked her into his bed, dressing her in one of his shirts. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed in the bed next to her. He had barely slept since the night before the party. He wrapped his arms around her and welcomed the idea of sleeping with his girl in his arms.

When Lillie felt James wrap his arms around her, she stiffened up. She hated that her whole body tensed at the very idea of being touched. She tried to breathe and let herself relax, because she wanted nothing more than to be held by the love of her life. She just couldn't be touched without crying. As soon as James realized that she started crying from his touch, he pulled his arms away from her and scooted back away from her. He allowed her to fall asleep before the tears came to his eyes.

His baby was broken, and there was nothing he could do to make it better for her. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her face, and tell her that everything was right in the world again, but he knew it wasn't true. He didn't know if everything would ever go back to normal again. His girlfriend, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, didn't even want him to touch her. He let the hot tears fall down his cheeks, and he rolled to face away from her. He sobbed quietly until he couldn't cry anymore. He was sure that she blamed him for her attack. He was supposed to keep her safe, and he failed her. He hated hurting her, and he knew what he was going to have to do.