Giving Up

Chapter 10

Jackson saw James whip his door open, and he was driving almost seventy miles per hour down the highway. He grabbed the back of his shirt and tried pulling back so he stayed in the car as he slowed the car down to pull over. He got the car slowed to thirty, and James broke free of his hold and fell out of the open door. Jackson slammed the brakes and called for an ambulance.

Jackson ran over to his brother who was screaming. The ambulance got there and the EMTs determined that his leg was more than likely shattered. They didn't know the extent of the damage, so they hurried him into the back of the ambulance to get him to the hospital. Jackson knew that he needed to go get Lillie but didn't know if she would listen to him. He didn't know if getting her was even the best thing for his brother, because part of him believed that things were starting to get too toxic between Lillie and James, and that maybe the two of the being separated was for the best.

Lillie was sitting on the couch crying. She had been crying for hours, ever since she told James she couldn't be with him. James was her rock, her sanity, her life. She needed him but didn't want him to go through the pain of her emotions every day. She thought he deserved better than her and she was determined to live without him. She was convinced that he would get over her and move on. She just wanted him to have a happy life. She wanted him to have a normal life. She wanted him to have someone who would be able to have a healthy relationship with him.

When someone knocked on the door, Kay got up to answer it. She was expecting either James or Seth, so she was a little surprised to see her sexy boss standing at the door. "Jackson, what are you doing here? Is something wrong at the restaurant? Why do you look like your cat just got ran over?" She moved so that he could enter the apartment.

"My cat didn't get run over, my heart broken brother got drunk and jumped out of my car as I was driving down the highway." He tried to hold back his tears as he went at sat in the chair across from Lillie. "My brother needs you Lillie. I tried telling him that you probably needed your space for a while, and he got upset and tried to get out of the car as I was driving. He is lucky that I was able to slow down before he managed to get out because instead of killing himself, he just shattered a few bones. They don't know how bad his injuries are, but as of right now he is still alive." He lowered his head to look at the floor.

"Oh my God, this is my fault. I did this. I didn't want to break up with him; I just wanted what was best for him. I told him to leave me alone so he would move on. I thought he would sulk and then realize that I am too damaged for him. What have I done?" Lillie was hysterical as she found her shoes and car keys. She was halfway out to her car by the time Kay and Jackson caught up with her. Kay took the keys from her hand.

"I will drive you, Lillie. Jackson, you can ride with us. You are both too upset to be driving right now. I will take you." Kay waited for everyone to be in the car and buckled before she started down the road. No one said a word on the way there, Lillie cried quietly, and Jackson sat with his eyes closed. He was exhausted from working a long shift at the restaurant, and he was afraid that if he spoke, he would say something that would offend Lillie and eventually piss off his brother.

Once in the hospital, they found their way to James. Kay and Jackson let Lillie go in first. When she walked into the room, she saw James laying with his eyes closed. "Jamie. What have I done to you?" She walked to his side but he didn't open his eyes. He was asleep. The nursed told her that they had given him pain medications and that he would probably be out for a while. She reassured Lillie that it was okay to hold his hand and talk to him, but that they would be taking him for some x-rays soon.

"Jamie. I am sorry. I didn't want to leave you. I thought you were better off without me. I promise you that if you'll still have me, I will never walk away from you again. I will take care of you. I can't believe you did something so stupid, Jamie. I can't believe that you hurt yourself. I am sorry, this is whole thing is fault." Lillie wiped her tears, kissed his cheek, and walked out of the room. 

Lillie stayed at the hospital in the waiting room while tests were run, x-rays were taken, and casts were put in his left leg and his right arm. She sat quietly while his family all came and went. After hours of just sitting, she walked in to talk to him. She didn't know what to say, but she had to see that he was okay.

"Lilly Pad, you came." James whispered and reached for her hand. His family had told him that she had been there the whole time, and that she was sitting in the waiting room. He hadn't seen her and didn't know if they were just saying it to make him feel better. Every time he told someone he wanted to see her, they told him that she would come in and see him when she was ready. He was glad to see that she was ready.

"I've been sitting out there for hours, just trying to figure out what to say to you. I couldn't decide if I should yell at you for being so stupid and almost getting yourself killed, or if I should tell you how sorry I am for pushing you away. I wasn't trying to hurt you; I was just trying to save you from getting hurt. Since I couldn't decide which I was supposed to do, I decided to do both. I am so sorry baby, if you can forgive me I will spend my life making it up to you, but how could you be so stupid?" She looked at him, trying not to cry again. She wasn't supposed to be stressed out because she was pregnant.

"I forgive you. I know you were trying to keep me from getting hurt, but the only way I will hurt is if I can't have you in my life. I didn't know the car was running. I was really drunk, and I thought we were just sitting in the parking lot and I wanted to get out of the car. I am sorry baby, I shouldn't have been drinking, and I shouldn't be worrying you. Come sit with me." He felt so relieved that Lillie was there. He didn't blame her because he knew what her intentions were. He knew deep down from the moment she walked away that she was lying. They were meant to be together. They had to find a way to get through the trauma.

"Lillie, you know that is my baby right?" He looked at her; half afraid she was going to yell again. He sat there just looking at her face, looking for any sign of emotions. She didn't say anything for a few minutes though. He wasn't sure what she was feeling, or if the pregnancy was something she even wanted to go through with.

"I know Jamie. I know that this baby is ours. I am scared, but I know that we will be a family." She smiled a weak smile, kissed his cheek, and laid her head next to his. They just held hands and both drifted off to sleep. No matter what life threw at them, they would be together. Together, they could conquer anything. They just had to learn how to communicate and how to work through things together instead of trying to shield each other or make decisions alone. If they could do that, they'd be okay.