Giving Up

Chapter 14

By the time Avariella was three days old, everyone had been able to meet her. Lillie's parents had been there, but were unable to stay. Anna, Kari, and Jackson had all met her the day after she was born, and no one could keep Kay away from the hospital. Seth had even been there a couple times. Lillie spent most of her day sitting in the NICU singing to the little babies that were there. Each day she would get to try to feed Ava, and she would sing nursery rhymes to her. She knew that the third day of Ava's life was going to be difficult because it was her grandfather's funeral and she was still in the hospital.

James came to the hospital that morning, already wearing his suit. He was having a very hard time because more than anything, he wanted his wife by his side when he said goodbye to his father but he knew that she would never leave their daughter. He knew that if AJ's conditions changed and Lillie wasn't there, she would never be able to forgive herself. He couldn't even get her to come home to sleep at night. She would sleep sitting in the rocking chair next to AJ, or she would sleep on the sofa just outside the room that their baby was in.

"Good morning Jamie. Avariella is improving. She ate this morning without any troubles." Lillie smiled at her husband, hoping that the news about their daughter would at least cheer him up a little. She knew that nothing would make him feel good knowing that he had to bury his dad. She reached her hand out to him. "Do we have time for you to take me home to shower? I can't let you go alone today baby, I know that you need me."

James had tears in his eyes. He never imagined that he would be able to get Lillie away from the hospital until the day they were able to take Avariella home. "Yeah baby, we have time if we leave right now." He took her hand and helped her to stand. Both James and Lillie whispered "see you later" to their daughter and headed for the door.

Lillie stood silent and held her husband's hand as they said goodbye to her father-in-law. They stood over Jack's casket, and Lillie listened to James talk to his father. It broke her heart to see how sad her husband was, knowing that there was nothing she could do to take away his pain. After James told his father how much he loved him, Lillie whispered her sad goodbye, and they went to sit down.

Anna asked Lillie to sing a song at the end of the service, and it was time for her to go to the front of the room. "Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home. I looked over Jordan, and what did I see? Coming for to carry me home, a band of angels coming after me, coming for to carry me home." Lillie finished the entire song without letting her voice crack with emotions, but as soon as she was finished, the tears started to flow. After the service, Lillie greeted a few guests, gave a few people hugs, and decided that she needed to get back to the hospital.

James didn't want Lillie to leave so early, but he understood why. He wanted to be at the hospital too, but he knew that he had to be there for his father's burial. He didn't know how he was going to watch his father get buried without his wife holding his hand, but he took a deep breath, kissed his wife, and helped her into a cab back to the hospital. He knew that he had his brother, sister, and mom there with him, so he was able to get through the hard day. As soon as the funeral was completed, James went straight to the hospital. He needed to see his baby and his wife. It was the only end he could imagine to such a terrible day.

On the way to the hospital, James talked to his father out loud. "Hey dad, I really wish you were still here. Avariella was born the day you left us. She is beautiful, dad. I need you to keep your eyes on her now. Be her guardian angel, because Lillie and I can't lose her. We named her after you. She is the cutest baby I have ever laid eyes on. I miss you dad." James pulled into the hospital parking lot and tried to get a grip on his emotions. He took one more look up at the clear blue sky and whispered, "Bye daddy."

James walked into the hospital and found Lillie sitting in the same rocking chair that she had often been sitting in next to their new daughter. She didn't hear him enter the room after putting on the gown and mask that was required to be in the NICU. He stood in the doorway and listened to his wife as she sang to Avariella. Even though it was a sad day for James, he always felt better hearing his wife sing. After her song was finished, he walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Hi Jamie." Lillie said sadly, as she got up to give him a hug. She knew that it was a hard day for him and wished that she could have been with him for the burial of his father. Everyone was going to miss Jack. Even though she hadn't gotten a chance to get close with him, she knew that he was a good man who taught his children good values.

"Hi sweetie. How is our angel going today?" He asked as he left his wife's side to go peak at his beautiful daughter. Since he first laid eyes on Avariella, he had no doubts about her being his biological daughter.

"The doctors said that she is doing well. They think that she will pull through this just fine." Lillie smiled at the thought. She was glad to know that their daughter would make it. She didn't think that she would be able to survive if Ava left them.

The days passed by slowly, but each day that passed, Avariella seemed to get stronger. After three weeks in the NICU, they were able to hold her, and Lillie was able to feed her naturally. Lillie and James were excited to be able to hold their daughter. After five weeks they were able to take her off of her oxygen. Finally, James and Lillie were able to take their daughter home when she was six weeks old.