Prompt: Jin and Kai have a sex talk
A.N.- It's not that I'm entirely against writing sex scenes, it's just that I'm not entirely comfortable with it either. I'm also very bad at writing them, so I'm doing you all a favor by keeping it a conversation, trust me
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Jin's mouth worked on mine with a familiar ease and a flicker of curious passion. His hands were cool on my skin, pushing my shirt up to my chest as his fingers memorized the outline of my back, my sides, my stomach.
I held him close, my hands on his lower back, his button-up shirt wrinkled under the grip of my fingers. Jin's maroon vest was on the floor, tossed aside.
I brought my hands up, unbuttoning his shirt down to his lower chest, running my fingers over the scar on his collarbone. His breath grew shakier, shared between us. He kissed me harder, bringing a hand up to cup mine over the scar.
His hands fell teasingly low on my hips, but he didn't reach for my pants. I curled my hand around the back of his neck, holding his face closer to mine.
He shifted to move his body just as close, but both of us jerked away in surprise. I'd moved at the same time, and we'd rubbed together at an awkward angle.
"Shit," I said, dropping my hand from his neck. "You dumbass. You ruined the mood."
"Shut up," he said, kissing me.
I rolled onto my side, carefully stretching my leg and resting it over his. He pushed his hair out of his eyes, his eyes searching mine.
"Would you?" he said at last.
"Would I what?" I said. "Would I beat the shit out of you with my cane? Yes, absolutely."
"Would you have sex with me," he said.
I felt my face heating up and smacked my palm against his chest. "Take your own advice and shut up."
"I'm not saying we have to," he said with a shrug. "It's just something to talk about. We're in a relationship. Things can happen. I need your boundaries."
"Our boundaries," I corrected, glaring at him. "We both have boundaries. And don't go telling me 'I don't care' about it, because I'll break up with you."
"Would you?" he repeated.
I dropped my gaze, hating how embarrassed I felt. "Someday. Maybe."
"Your leg?" he said, lightly placing his hand on my bad leg.
I nodded slowly. "I...It's scarred. I'm still not used to seeing the scars. And it causes me so many problems. I wouldn't know...you know...what to do with it. How to move it." My face grew even warmer as I spoke.
"Then we keep it like this," he said, gesturing to my pants. He kissed my jaw.
I pushed his head away. "And you? Would you want to have sex?"
"No," he said. "Not right now. Not for a while."
I twirled a lock of his white hair around my finger. "Why?"
He shrugged. "I don't want to have sex until..." He turned his gaze to the ceiling, tracing his finger up and down my pant leg. "Until I care about my body."
That made sense. His body had been abused so much, and he'd coped by not caring. Of course he was worried about what would happen if he became sexually active while he didn't care about his own body.
"And Karson thinks we're having tons of sex in here," I said.
"I think that's Amelia's thought, not Karson's. Amelia gave me a condom two days ago and told me to stay safe," Jin said.
"Why the hell did Amelia have a condom?" I said.
"Do I look like I care enough to ask questions?" Jin said, gazing at me impassively.
I pulled him close, kissing him. "Someday, I'll accept my leg and you'll care about your body," I mumbled against his lips.
"And someday maybe we'll have sex. But not today," he said.
"Not today," I agreed, relieved.
We wouldn't take that step until we were both ready for it. It would take time, it would take a lot of false starts and slow buildups. But someday, we might give ourselves to each other. We might become as physically close as possible.
But not today.
I brought my lips back to Jin's. We had the room to ourselves for a little, so we might as well enjoy it in a way we were comfortable with together. Jin kissed me back, keeping his hands well away from my pants as we fell back into that heavy rhythm of before, my leg resting comfortably over his lap.
