Diva (Urban)

Confusion

Diva's POV

    It was late by the time I got back to Helen's house. The doctors still weren't letting us see Lee and it only made me more anxious and nervous for my girl.

    Helen was sleeping in her room by the time I opened the door and raided the refrigerator. That hospital food tasted like ass-crack.

    "Where were you?" I jumped, startled by a deep voice. Turning around slowly, I let the refrigerator light guide me to the voice's owner.

    Donte.

    I sucked in a wisp of air and let it out. "What are you doin' here so late?" I asked. I microwaved a plate of spaghetti and threw the foil that covered the plate into the trash.

    "Nigga, I bought this house."

    "Who are you callin' a 'nigga'? Boy, you betta check yoself."

    "Last time I checked, I was older than you. So...um... Why the fuck you strollin' up in here like–"

    "Like none of yo business." I sat at the table and began twisting my fork in the dinner. I had yet to turn on the lights and I was fine with that because I didn't want to see Donte's face.

    I had to be honest...

    I still had it going on for the guy and he was attractive and sweet at times but it would always be "money over bitches" with him. I couldn't deal with that.

    And the disrespect? No.

    I saw his dark figure move across the room and sit down across from me. I smelled his cologne that I once loved and now hated to inhale. All I could see was the white of his eyes and his teeth in the moonlight that shone through the large glass window.

    "Bae, I don't even know how we got to this..."

    "My baby." I refreshed his mind. "Yeah, I'm...I ain't know that you had a miscarriage and you shoulda told me but you ain't so how a nigga s'posed to know shit?"

    I guffawed. "You know shit that goes on deep under the damn cracks of this city that you ain't got no business knowin' but you don't know that yo supposed 'girlfriend' lost her child? Maybe if you checked in on me more..." I trailed off.

    "I got moves to make, baby." And with that being said, I finally understood that no matter what I did or said, I couldn't change his way of thinking. This was how he grew up and I couldn't reverse years of street practice.

    I nodded sullenly and stared at him. I felt his body heat as he tilted my face and kissed my lips. I let him. I needed this. Not for him, but for me. Even if it wasn't true, I needed to be assured that someone loved me and this was the only way. It was weird, somehow.

    Donte bit my bottom lip gently and pecked my lips again before standing up and disappearing out the door. 

    Jesus, what did I get myself into?