UNDERGROUND [COMPLETED]

UG 24:

Chapter 24.

My head hurts when i wake up. i glanced at the wall clock and it's already two thirty in the afternoon. napa haba pala ang tulog ko.

Napa sintido ako nang sumalakay na naman ang kirot ng aking ulo. fuck! i don't want to get drunk again but that is the only way to forget everything. para makalimutan ko ang ibayong sakit na aking nararamdaman.

I don't want to get up on my bed but I need to eat. ilang araw na ba na puro alak nalang ang nilalaman ko sa aking tiyan? baka pag nag tagal'to burol na ang aabutin ko.

Wala naman kasi akong ganang kumain nitong mga nakaraang araw. cause every time i close my eyes i can see her face. i miss her so much. her smiles, her voice, her eyes and even her laugh. i really miss everything about her.

But how many days did she avoid my presence? as if i have a contagious disease and about her cold treatment to me? it's really killing me big time. paulit-ulit na nadudurog ang aking puso sa tuwing nakikita ko ang galit at pagkamuhi sa walang buhay niyang mga mata.

My cheerful Carina is already gone and that is because of me! yeah. I'm certified stupid asshole! ang tanga ko para baliwalain ang isang kagaya niya and worst i hurt her so much. I regret everything i have done but i know that's not enough compare for what i did to her.

I looked around. i had a dream last night. in my dreams Carina is here at inaalagaan daw niya ako. it seems like everything is real. bigla akong nabuhayan ng loob pero noong nailibot ko na ang aking mga mata sa paligid walang carina akong nakita.

I'm disappointed again. yes this is not the first time that i've dreaming about her. dahil simula noong makalabas siya ng hospital, walang gabi na lumilipas na hindi ko siya napapanaginipan.

Puno ng pagtataka kong inilibot ang aking tingin sa buong paligid nang napansin kong wala na ang mga kalat na ako ang may kagagawan. ilang araw ko na kasing pinag babato ang mga gamit dito at halos maubos ko na ang lahat ng gamit dito at kagabi subrang kalat pa nito pero ngayon? Subrang linis na at walang bakas na may mga nag kalat na bobog dito. pumasok ba si manang dito para mag linis? of course who else is it? she's the only person who can enter in my room without my permission. well. except her.

Napapikit ako nang rumagasa sa aking isipan ang eksenang iyon dito mismo sa aking kwarto. ang araw na nasaktan ko siya at ang araw na umalis siya dahilan kung bakit siya nakuha ng mga gagong iyon. i closed my fist while gritted my teeth. nararamdaman ko na naman ang hindi matatawarang galit para sa mga demonyong iyon na nag pahirap sa babaeng mahal ko. Yes i already love her, i don't know when or how it started.

I can't forgive them for what they did to my girl at kulang pang kabayaran ang kanilang buhay kumpara sa pag papahirap nila kay Carina.

I look at myself and i was so upset when i saw my clothes were different. did i change it last night? why i can't remember about it? All i can remember is that i immediately lay down on my bed because of drowsiness and intoxication. hindi ko na nga rin nagawang mag tanggal ng sapatos kagabi dahil sa subrang pagod.

si manang ba ang nag palit ng damit ko? i just shook my head and get up on my bed bago ako nagtungo sa banyo. i need a cold shower para mawala ang sakit ng aking ulo.

When i was done to take a bathe i immediately went down and in the garden i went on.  but i was stunned when i saw manang there. she's busy to watering plants while she's humming a song. dahan dahan akong humakbang palapit sa kaniya and i just stopped when i was behind her.

"Manang" i call her attention. then i tapped her shoulder.

Napapitlag pa siya sa pagkagulat and her eyes widened when she turned to me.