His Beautiful Amore

{28} She Hit Him. In the Face. With a Chair

~Leata~

Blake turns around and I look over his shoulder to find mom standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her eyebrows raised and arms crossed.

"Um, there was an earthquake...?" Blake trails off, rubbing the back of his ingredient covered neck, his excuse coming out more like a question.

"Then how come River and I didn't feel it?" Mom questions, amusement swirling in her grey eyes.

"It was only at school...?" Blake replied, his answer coming out more like a question yet again.

"Oh, mhm, yeah. That makes so much sense." Mom says sarcastically. "Now what really happened?"

I sigh. "Crystal's back."

Mom's amused face turns pissed.

Oh no, momma bear's coming out of hibernation.

What even?

I do not know.

"That Taco's back?!" Mom exclaims. "Oh, hell no! If she even tries to go anywhere near my baby boy I'll rip out her windpipe and make her drink soup with it."

"Quentin's back, too." Blake tells her.

"That little pendejo's back too?" She seethes.

"Unfortunately." I mumble.

"Forest!" Mom shouts. "Grab a shovel! We're about to go bury some bitches!"

And dad decides to come downstairs with an actual shovel.

"Who do I need to kill, babygirl?" Dad questions, holding up the shovel.

"Crystal Del Taco and Quentin 'Pendejo' Selman." Is all mom says.

Dad's face turns deadly. "Devil, you slit Crystal Del Taco's throat and smoke weed with her windpipe. I'll drown Quentin 'Pendejo' Selman in his own toilet then rip off his own arm and beat him with it."

"Sounds good." Mom nods. "Lets go."

"Hold up." I grab my parents and pull them back into the dirty kitchen. "As much as I would like nothing more than for you to kill them, I don't need my parents going to jail."

"Amore wants to kill them herself." Blake pipes up.

"That too." I nod.

"We won't kill them, then." Dad say before holding up the shovel. "We'll just massage their heads."

"With the shovel." Mom adds.

"Mom. Dad."

"Fine!" Mom groans.

"You're no fun." Dad whines.

"We actually need to grocery shopping though." Mom says. "This kitchen better be spotless by the time with get back or I'm going to have your asses on sticks."

"Oh, and kids?" Dad speaks as he and mom are walking out of the kitchen. "No breaking lamps and hiding them in the fridge, please."

*~*

"Finally!" I shout as Blake and I slump down on the couch tiredly.

"Who knew cleaning the kitchen would take two hours?" Blake questions rhetorically, leaning his head back on the couch, closing his eyes.

"Plus taking a shower which ended up taking another two hours because we couldn't get the flour out, which ended up turning into dough when it got wet." I add.

Then Ryder, Tyler, Carter, Kiev, Rose and Harmony burst in through the front door.

"Lee! Blake!"

"The idiots are home." I tell Blake the obvious.

They run into the living room, and Tyler goes straight upstairs, Rose following after him a few seconds later.

I bet Crystal Del Taco did something.

"You'll never guess what happened in History!" Kiev shouts.

"What happened?" Blake questions, his eyes still closed.

"Well, Crystal and Quentin walked in and sat in your seats. I told them to get their asses out of your seats, but then Crystal started demanding Tyler to take her back. Tyler ignored her, then she grabbed his arm. So Rose bitch slapped her." Harmony explains quickly, running out of breath as she finishes.

"Then, Quentin started ordering us to put in a good word for him and make you take him back." Kiev continues. "Then he said cheating on you was an accident, so Harmony hit him."

"In the face." Carter adds.

"With chair." Ryder finishes.

I look at Harmony. "A chair?!"

She smiles sheepishly. "I may or may not have picked up a chair from the side of the classroom and swung it at him...and hit him."

I stare at her for a few seconds before lunging at her and pulling her into a hug.

"Thanks, Harmzilla."

"No problem, Lee."

"AWWW!" Ryder, Carter and Kiev all gush.

"Shut the hell up and let them have their sisterly moment." Blake snaps.

"You shut up!" Carter yells.

"Don't tell my best friend to shut up!" Ryder snaps at him.

"Fluff-Fluff Furry Poops, make them shut up!" Kiev exclaims.

"All of you shut up!" Harmony and I snap in unison, still hugging.