Waiting for You // Phan

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Phil's POV

Phil sat at home on the floor, back against the wall, soaking wet from the rain but not caring. His eyes were unfocused and glassy, he was lost in thought.

I can't believe it. I can't believe I let Dan down like that. He probably hates me. I hate myself. I've ruined everything. He's not replying to my texts, not answering the phone, and it's all my fault.

I love him, and now he probably never wants to see me again. How can I live with myself?

Phil didn't realise he was crying until the taste of salt ran over his lips. Tears were cascading down his cheeks, and he couldn't stop. The one person he had felt a real connection to, he had completely abandoned.

Phil suddenly felt mad at himself. He began to hit and punch anything within reach, not really caring about how much damage it caused to him or his home.

Angry tears still filled his eyes as Phil collapsed from the pain, black spots danced across his vision, and the metallic taste of blood was in his mouth.

What's the point? Now he's gone, is there any point? My whole life has been flipped upside down, all because of this one person.

Phil lay on the floor, defeated by the hopelessness of it all.

Yes. A voice whispered in the back of his head. Yes, there is a point. You can still get him back. You can apologize, and he can choose to forgive you. And you'll be friends again. Maybe, just maybe, you could be a little bit more.

««««««Timeskip to Monday»»»»»»»

Phil knew what he had to do. He would find Dan today, and explain everything, and he meant everything, and hope against hope that Dan would forgive him.

Phil walked onto campus that morning with his heart set on finding Dan. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists with impatience as he searched for him.

However, before long, he saw the back of PJ's head, walking with Tyler From Art. Where PJ was, Dan would surely be nearby.

Phil jogged up to them and tapped PJ's shoulder. PJ looked around and saw Phil, and his expression turned cold.

Phil felt his insides twist. Dan had obviously told PJ then. But Phil closed his eyes, breathed, and asked.

"Hey PJ, have you seen Dan around? I need to speak to him. It's urgent."

PJ looked him up and down, and replied stiffly, "Dan isn't in today. He's ill." Tyler nodded.

"Oh, ok, thanks anyway-" Phil turned frustratedly, when PJ caught his shoulder and whispered in his ear:

"Stay away from Dan, ok? He doesn't want to speak to you, he stayed in his room all day yesterday and wouldn't talk, all because Phil Lester played with his heart and then cast it aside like it meant nothing. Don't you dare come asking about him. Stay away from him and leave us alone."

PJ let go of his shoulder and walked away with Tyler. Phil wiped his eye with his jumper sleeve. So Dan really did hate him. Now PJ did too. His only hope of finding Dan was gone.

Phil looked at the floor dejectedly.

This must be what it feels like to have a broken heart.