Moonlight ~ A Study in Stupidity

Chapter 2 ~ Forking Forked High So Totos Sux Shimy Dix

I didn't sleep very well that first night in the kidnap cabin. Even after I was done Catching Up with the fat Kardashian, that total terbo thwat. To be real, I much prefer the younger skinny hotter Kardashian sisters over The Big Beast of the East. But I guess they have to put the beastly one and that super creepy rapey brother on TV sometimes. You know, just so everybody will know that they have their own crosses to bear too?   

Then there was the constant wind whooshing sound of the air across the attic roof that wouldn't fade into the background. So I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight, when the whooshy wind finally settled into a quieter but bitchy whisper. Like not only was it totally winding and shit? But then like a chorus of drunken angels started taking a seriously long leak on our metal roof. So I used my old Cat Heart Eyes emoji pillow to suffocate myself into sleeping. Mostly cause that was easier than trying to baby-shake myself to sleep like Sister'Mom used to do on the regular. Those childhood memories were the best. Just me and drunken Sister-mom passed out together on the old crackhead crash out sofa in some friendly fellow strippers small trailer living room. 

When I woke up in the morning, a thick fat fog was all I could see out my window. Like I could feel the claustrophobia trying to creep up on me and strangle me. Like you could never really see the sky here in Forked, because it was like a really foggy bathroom mirror? But that didn't really bother me as much as the tan that was already fading from my awesome summer boobs. Like this place was already sucking so hard it was evaporating my many months laying about the lame public pools of North Las Vegas.    

Breakfast with the Chief was a quiet affair, as he was seriously hungover ASF from last nights beer binge. He did wish me good luck at school and told me to stay away from the tweekers. Which made me kind of scowl, cause good luck tended to avoid me like the forking plague. But I did thank him for that piece of thoughtful advice on the tweekers. But reminded him again that I already survived living and leaving North Las Vegas aka Zombieland USA. So I had plenty of experience with the forking Tweeker Zombies. I did wish him good hunting on all the criminals, aka all the illegal minorities, that he is licensed to shoot on site. 

Chief Chuck left our crack cabin first, of course. Probably off to spend some time with his real wife and kids before the brats go to school. After he left, I just sat at the old square formica table, in one of the three un-matching wife-beater chairs and examined the small kitchen. Unfortunately, nothing had changed since yesterday when it was still a total shithole. Like the dense dark wood-paneled walls that belong in a basement of some S&M dungeon. Not to mention, the slightly bloodstained linoleum floor. Yeah, I'm thinking this place has seen its fair share of some tough interrogations. Or some seriously crazy cop bachelor parties with exotic dancers. Even though this far north "exotic" probably means some foreign Canadian chick with frosted highlights in her hair. Either way ...different strokes or whatever works.   

The only splash of color that doesn't seem to be an old bloodstain, is the bright ass yellow cabinets. And I swear to Satan, that they looked like my mother had tried to drunkenly paint in an attempt to bring some sunshine into the house. Truth be told, I kind of prefer the doom and gloom that this bitch is rocking on the regular. So maybe I will paint these crapy cabinets back to their original meth-lab blackout...or not? Cause that sounds a lot like work or whatever? So I immediately unthink this stupid thought. At least until I can find some stupid hot shop class kid to string along with the illusionary promise of some sexual favors to fix this bitch up for free? 

I drift over the small fireplace in the living room to check out the seriously sad ass row of so-called "family photos". The old wedding picture of Chief and my Sister'mom with drive-thru Elvis in Las Vegas just after she turned eighteen. Then one of the three of us in the hospital after I was born a month later or maybe before, taken by an unhelpful nurse? My mother looks high ASF and Chief looks paranoid as a motherforker. I just look like an ugly afterthought of a one night stand that lasted to long.