Moonlight ~ A Study in Stupidity

10. Sex Science Sux. (Almost Edited out all the Awfulness)

Once inside the Sex Science classroom, I saw that my usual table was still empty. So I strutted my hot yoga ass over to the stool and dropped it like da bomb. Angel took her accustomed seat behind me and began to braid my hair without asking again. It's sorta strange that I have gotten used to this routine. 

Teacher Sex Science teacher was creeping around the classroom again as usual, distributing one microscope and box of slides to each table. Classing didn't start for a few minutes, and all the people that I don't care about are conversating about snow and shit. I kept my eyes on the door, idly doodling BITCHESSS on the desktop with my bedazzled box cutter. I probably should have known something was up when Angel paused in mid-sniff while braiding my hair.

"Oh hello ho." Whispered whimsically in a creepy quiet behind me. The musical lilting voice that sounded like an ethereal angelic angel, that got kicked in the balls by a pair of spiked soccer cleats.

I heard very clearly when the chair next to me moved. So when I looked up, stunned that he had found a way to creep on me so fast ...and that he dared to speak to me. The evil little mutherforker must have sensed something in my demeanor, cause he pushed about as far away from me as the desk allowed, but his chair was angled toward me. I noticed his hair was so frosty wet with snowkkake, he looked like he'd just finished shooting a punishment porn for Japanese tourists. 

"And hello again." He smiled sweetly. His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips. But his purple bruise-colored eyes were cold and careful.  "So I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week to you. My name is Edvardo Killen ...you killed my father and now you must pay."

And of all the stupid ass shit to say to me ...he had to quote Princess Bride at my ass as a pickup line? Who the hell did this evil little assclown think he was?

"Who's your daddy?" I snarled back, and preparing for the attack.

"Some dead dude." He shrugged all nonchalantly and continued talking at me like we were friends or some shit. "Of course, you must be Belladonna Blackswan."

"Like you know me or some shit?" I eye him cold ASF, waiting for him to say the next stupid shit that falls out of his face.

"Oh, I think its safe to say that everyone up in this bitch knows your name by now." He laughed a high pitched soft, enchanting laugh, like some sort of snow fairy. Then dropped his voice to a sinister whisper. "The whole school can't stop talking about how you're too cool for this school. And that yoga ass of yours is seriously something to behold."

Now my mind was dry humping with confusion. Was that a compliment or was he trying to mess with my head to get me to drop my vendetta? I mean, after all everything he just said was the truth, right? I mean my hot yoga ass was way too hot for Forked.  And I have to wonder if I had made the whole thing up in my head?

He was clearly waiting for me to say something. So I had to talk some shit soon or he would think I was forking mental like the rest of the forktards. But I couldn't think of anything disagreeable to say. The stupid smile on his frosty face was fading, and he was obviously wondering if I was retarded ASF.

"Ya think?" I snorted back, having nothing contrary to say...except. "And don't call me Belladonna ...or I will forking cut you."

"So I heard." He shifts himself a little further from me, and smirks back to Duh Derrick. "You went all Super Cuts on stupid shit back there touching himself in the corner again."

But I ignored the words, my eyes stayed carefully focused on the smile I was about to slit across his frosty face. But before any more bullshit can happen, Mr. Sex Science Teacher starts talking about classing bullshit. I tried to pretend like I cared as he stammered in excitement at the lab we would be doing today. He intentionally put the slides in the box were out of order. Working as lab partners, we had to separate the slides of various venereal diseases and label them accordingly. Teacher sex Science claims that the last slide is "the real surpirse".