Moonlight ~ A Study in Stupidity

9. Forking Snowballs and the return of Evil Eddie

Yeah, ever since I started to have my wyrd ass sex dreams ...Eddie didn't come back to Forked Up High. For all I knew, he had dropped out of school. I tried not to think about him and his filthy little frostie face. But as stupid as it sounds, I couldn't totally shake the feeling that I was responsible for his continued absence at school.

Which truth be told, this was actually was kind of causing me a problem on some level. Because I can literally not get that evil little shit eating grin of his out of my head, and I want to cut him a new smile so bad it is forking killing me! Truth ever since the day I started my period I have been having these crazy ass sex dreams about the little evil forker. And every night I wake up writhing and heaving right on the edge of orgasming seriously hard. And that damn recurring dream...or "The Wet Dream" as I call it now, is forking with my head big time. I feel like every morning a little part of me is missing something ...like memories of stuff I was supposed to remember but can't anymore.  Anyways... 

So save for the stupid sex dreams I have been plagued with, my first week in Forks passed without incident. Every day at lunch I watched the rest of the Foster Frosties roll into La Cantina and post up at their cool spot. I think they knew it was just a matter of time before shit kicked off between me and my minority gang of bitches and these forking frosties. But by mutual agreement of ignoring each other, we agreed to wait until Eddie returned to school to get shit cracking off.

Chief Chuck was unusually excited about work for some reason and was gone most of the weekend busting up a truck stop prostitution ring. He told me that one of the huge perks of being Chief was that he got to go undercover as the "John" again. So maybe with any luck, I might have a new Stepsister-Mom by the first of the month to do some cooking and cleaning around this shithole. 

Most of the weekend the rain stayed soft and warm, like puppy piss, so I was able to sleep deep ASF. The downside I kept having that damn "Wet Dream" all weekend long. Every time I started to drift there were those two damn blood red eyes hovering at the window ...just waiting for me to fall asleep. After a while, I just gave up even trying to fight sleep and just opened myself up wide and let the dreams come as they may. Not like I was gonna come anytime soon form these stupid dreams ...so whatever.

Come Monday morning, I was done riding the red pony of death. So now that my monthly mooning was over I was feeling a lot more comfortable in my own skin again. Like my RBF, resting bitch face, was back its optimal level of bitchability again. 

It was colder this morning, like Witchtitty cold, but happily not raining. But as usual, the Forking sky looks tote crappy with clouds. These clouds are slightly crappier than the usual craptastic clouds, as they look dense ASF. The usually gloaming light of the dim morning is somehow glowy now, which is sofa king lame. And I have to ask my self seriously what the fork is wrong with the air in this place. Maybe it's too close to communist Canada chemical factories or some shit? Cause the number of forktards up in this shit is way to high for there not to be a problem with the water or whatever.  Anyways...  

I decide to finally unveiled my bedazzled bitchess jacket and go to school like a boss. Of course, as soon as I get to school, everyone is admiring at my awesome ass as usual. I don't really blame the forktards for staring at me, cause lets face it I am sexy-hot ASF compared to the locale biotches. All the dicks want me, and all the bitches wanna be me.

I spot Gay Mike getting out of his excuse of a car. He has one of those environmentally responsible pieces of shit that run on batteries or some shit. He immediately comes running up to me super excited about being seen with me ...which I can so tote comprehendo.    

When we walked to some class we walk to every morning, that I already forgot about. I can hear all the forktards shouting excitedly to each other, some shit about the sky was falling.