Floating on Daydreams

For The Girl Who Lives Down The Street

I've known you my whole life. We've been friends for as long as I can remember. Some of the best memories I have are ones we share. Do you remember how I used to come over to your house to watch The Lion King with you, and how your brother used to steal my miniature animal toys? Or how we used to play that game with your small plastic Safari truck? We used to run around on all fours, me pretending to be a horse, you just playing along because it was fun to get dirty once in a while. We used to make popsicles and sell them to the neighbors, who would smile and hand us the coins we were demanding for the ice cubes flavored with a little bit of sugar. We'd stay over at each others' houses unannounced, and if one of us was missing, our parents always knew we'd be together. 

You are the reason I've always found it easier to identify with people who are older than me, and not people my own age. I'm so grateful for that, because I've gotten to know some pretty amazing people that way, and it all started with you. You are the one person who has always been there, a constant comfort from the very beginning. You're one of the few people who helped me figure out who I was, and what I wanted.

You were there for me when I was too scared to tell anyone that I was being bullied everyday. You didn't know about it, but you were aware of the fact that none of my classmates wanted anything to do with me. And you stayed. 

You were there when I got my heart broken for the first time. You helped me get past so many little obstacles, and all the while you didn't even know you were.

And you were there when I admitted that I liked the same guy that you had liked for over a year. You stayed, even though it probably hurt you. You were there when we were dating, even though I withdrew from you a little bit, because I was afraid that I was hurting you whenever I spoke about him. You were there when he broke me and crushed my soul. You stayed,  you comforted me and you let me cry on your shoulder. You even called him to tell him off. 

You're always worried about other people, always asking them if they're upset or angry about something. You're the best at making them smile if they are. I think it's amazing that you can do that.  You'll make the best psychologist, I know that for sure, because you're forever analyzing (and sometimes over-analyzing) other people's behaviour. 

You're the kind of person who embraces change. I remember your favorite color being yellow, then changing and changing again until you finally decided on purple being the prettiest. You've experimented with your image more than I would ever dare to-- lining your eyes with thick black make-up one day, and then not wearing any makeup at all the next. You even chopped off your hair, something I would never have the courage to do. You'd wear multiple rings and bracelets, and while I was enthralled by your ability to make it look pretty rather than tacky, I  never fully understood why until recently. You should know that while all those things might grab people's attention, it's not them that keeps it. It's you. Your bubbly laugh, infectious smile, warm hugs and pretty features, they're what make you beautiful.

You're the best at telling stories that aren't necessarily true, and still having people believe them. I remember you telling me that your stuffed toy was a live dog who had glass eyes because it was blind. You even went out of your way to convince me that the water you had poured next to it was it's pee. And I also remember you trying to make a few people, me included, believe that you had found a baby turtle in your bathroom, and we almost believed you, which is absurd because we don't live anywhere near the ocean. 

You told me the other day that I made you feel insecure. I'm not going to start talking about how I shouldn't induce that sort of thing and how you should be comfortable around me, or about how I'm a loser who doesn't deserve someone as wonderful as you even thinking about me, because while it may be true, that stuff is depressing, and this isn't meant to be a depressing piece of writing. I just wanted you to know that it has always been the other way around as well. I always felt completely inadequate whenever you spoke (I still do, sometimes), because even when you were doing those horrible Kardashian impersonations, you had this natural charm that captivated everyone. I've always been jealous of your singing voice. There was even a point when I wanted curly hair, just because you had it. But that aside, I'm so grateful to you (I know I've said this before, I just feel the need to reiterate it). You are the sole reason I stood up to my parents when it came to choosing what courses I wanted to do at school. I am thankful that I have a solid friend in you, someone who stayed through everything, the good and the not-so-good. I am incredibly grateful for your presence in my life, because thanks to that,  I can honestly say that one of the most charismatic, multifaceted, talented, caring people I know is also one of my closest friends. 

I am grateful to and for you, and that will never change. You will always be my pseudo-sister.  I love you.