HATE (Editing)

4b

Chapter song : Me and my broken heart by Rixton

2 years ago...

‘You are making a big deal out of nothing. You know you are the only one I love,’ Jack said hugging me tightly.

“Well it didn't seem that way when both your tongues were down each others throats,”

‘No, she came up to me, I was trying to push her away when you came in. Trust me,’

“You say the same thing over and over again. Cecilia, Miranda, Shanna, Avanna...”

‘They all came up to me, you know how things are... They want me cause of my position as the leader’s son. I've changed you know. I'm not the same playboy you used to know. Fine, you know what, I'll prove it to you,’ his lips crashed against mine...

“Fine. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time. Again. Just keep away from them, okay love?”

‘Sure,’ he smiled warmly. ‘It doesn't take a man in love to know the girl of his dreams,’

“Who is...”

‘Come on Julia,’

“Fine, I'll let it go for the last time. But it's...”

‘I know. I know. The last time,’ he finished taking my hands back in his. ‘Let's call it a day, shall we?’

We sat down on the hillside gazing at the busy streets beneath us. I was comfortable around him.

‘Let's head back,’

“You go ahead, I'll stay here for some time,”

He gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead before standing up, dusting himself off and disappearing down the hill. I hadn't realised how much time had passed by till I woke up with darkness enveloping me like a blanket. I rubbed my eyes as I squinted to get a clear picture of the night sky. The stars shined brightly down, that I almost decided to stay there, but, I had to get back. I presumed Jack would be worried. I dusted myself off and began the walk home. I wasn't afraid of walking alone. I was used to the darkness. The beauty of night. I would call Jack and let him know that I was going home. I started searching my pockets for my phone but realised I didn't have it on me. Now, where could I have left that frickin’ machine? I remembered earlier on in the day when I confronted Jack for an explanation about some rumour I had had of him with some girl. He took my phone and typed the words.

It wasn't my fault.

But he hadn't returned it. He had stayed with it. Great. Now I had to walk up to his place and then back to mine. I took the route through the forest as it was the shortest to reach his place. It was a surprisingly quiet night. I normally didn't go to his place at night, but I figured, once wouldn't hurt. Right? I found the place unguarded and decided against my better judgement to go up to his room. My first guess was that he would be there, had I not passed him on my way here. Maybe he was on his way to my place to return my phone? I was about to turn away when I heard a girl's muffled screams coming from the room.

'No, please. No. Jack. Stop...'

No response.

'Jack! Stop it!' she cried out.

Torture? No Jack wouldn't. I opened the door concurrently as I switched on the lights. Jack turned in my direction.

‘It isn't what it looks like,’

'You rap...' he smacked her hard to keep her from finishing what she was saying.

‘Look, it's not my fault...’

I was running... I heard his voice roaring out my name.

'It's not my fault,' he shouted.

I kept on running as tears streamed down my face. It wasn't his fault. It has never been his fault. It was my fault. For believing in him. Giving him a chance he didn't deserve. Believing in his lies. All this time. Not anymore.

To think I actually thought he would be worried.

There comes a point in time when you realize that the person who shielded you from everything hurtful has just turned their back on you. A time you ask what you did wrong. What you could do differently. What decisions you could rewrite. A time you look at the world differently. As if, you have acquired new eyes. A time you realise, it was all a facade. But there's no going back. Because, it already happened.

'Stop running,' Jack bellowed from behind me.

We were in the forest. His goons as well were after me. I kept on running.

'Julia!' he boomed.

––––––––––––––––––––––

“No. Not again. Please, no...”

My eyes fluttered open and I found myself in my room. The light from the lamp still shone from the lamp stand. I wiped my forehead of the sweat that had accumulated. I felt my heartbeat start to regain its normal rhythm. Relax Julia. It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. My mind tried to calm me down. I got up from bed and switched on the lights as I headed downstairs to get a glass of water. I'm fine. You're fine Julia.

'Guess I'm not the only one who can't sleep,'

Luke's blue eyes met mine.

“Leave me alone Luke,”

'You know you might need to see a psychiatrist, right?'

“No. I'm fine,” I'm fine.

'I'm serious Lane. You should consider it,' he said earnestly. 'I don't want you to end up like my sister,' he trailed off at the last words.

He might have thought that I hadn't heard him. But I had.

“Cassy?”

'Yeap,' he took a large gulp of water. 'But for your own sake, don't mention her name again,' he said calmly but I could see his deathlike grip on the glass. Any more force on the glass and it would shatter to pieces.

“Well I'm sorry for your loss,”

'If you are that sorry, come, let's play chess,'

I didn't have the heart to say no. I nodded slightly and I assumed he went to get the chessboard and whatnot. Meanwhile, I seated myself across the table from him after taking a glass of ice cold water. I'm fine. I told myself. A few minutes later, Luke reappeared holding a chessboard in his hands.

'I'm pretty good at this. Plus, I won't go easy on you,'

“You don't need to,” I replied.

'By the way, I'm sorry for last week, I was way out of line. I should have thanked you for saving my life. I already know who you are -  The one who saved my life,'

I didn't know how I was to reply. A wide grin formed on his face. I couldn't tell if it was forced or genuine.

'Zac dropped by today. He said to give you this,' Luke said passing my phone to me.

I left it? Come on. And how come Zac... I didn't want to think about how he knew where I lived.

“Let's play,” I said making the first move.