HATE (Editing)

19

I sat at table with Nick and his best friend, Alexa at table. I preferred calling her Alex. We were waiting for our orders as I watched Doll serve other tables. This reminded me of the day I came here with Keith. She had blatantly ignored me. Or avoided my questions. She even left earlier than necessary leaving someone else cover her shift. I couldn't predict her shifts anymore since it seemed like she kept interfering with it.

"Waiter..." I called for the umpteenth time. I saw her turn in our direction again for like the seventh time this evening. "Waiter..." I called out more loudly as I signalled to her.

Dimitri came over to receive our orders but like I had done to other waiters and waitresses, I refused to get served unless Doll came to serve our table personally. I knew Nick and Alexa were enjoying the show so they wouldn't mind waiting a little longer for their meals.

"Waiter..." I dragged the word directly staring at her as she stood against the counter. I would love to feel how tense her muscles were at this point and if it were another scenario, I would totally make fun of her stiff posture. She turned and glared right at me as our eyes met.
"Was that look back there supposed to scare me?"

“May I take your orders?” she looked at Nick and Alexa as she handed all of us our menus.

''I'll have today's special...'' Nick intoned requesting for the same order for Alexa.

“May I have your order sir?” she said looking away from me.

"Yeah. I think I'm ready to order," I picked up the menu flipping through a page. "I guess today I'm looking to have... You..." I closed the book in time to notice a blush creep up her face.

She turned to walk away but I held on to her arm.

"What's the big idea Doll..." I asked audibly enough for her to hear.

“Would you let go of me...”

"Wow... I'm not surprised. You've not talked to me for more than a week and your first words are... Would you let go of me? Really?"

''Cough. Awkward. Cough...'' Nick coughed out.

"It doesn't count as a cough if you say the words cough out loud Nick,"

''Well I'm not the one making things awkward here. Cough. Loud cough,'' he finished, making me realize we were getting a couple of stares thrown our way.

"I don't care," I remained adamant still holding on to Doll's wrist.

Alexa coughed out as well signalling that another waiter was approaching. It was Dimitri.

'Anything the matter sirs? Madam...'

"No need for the formalities Dimitri. I used to work here about two weeks ago. It's not that long. We were colleagues in the least,"

'Then can I tell you something as a colleague?'

"I already know what you want to say," I let go of Doll's hand as I stood up. "I've lost my appetite anyway," I turned to Nick with a blank face. "I'll be home. Meal's on me,"

I left more than enough money to cater for their meal. As I walked out.

End of Zachary's POV

********************************

I paced around my room thinking about Jack's words.

'''Come back to me. You only left me because you thought I cheated on you. But I didn't. You only left because of a misunderstanding. That means you shouldn't even be with pretty boy right now. You should be with me. Not him. With me,'''

Mistakes.
That's what every human has in common.
We all make mistakes.
But some mistakes, change the course of our lives.
Just some.
But would I make the same mistake again?

I had been trying my best to avoid Zac. But he was making it hard for me. I didn't want to avoid him. I didn't. But I had to. I just had to. I opened my drawer and held up the chain I got for Zac in my hand.
Was Jack right? Was I with Zac only because of a misunderstanding between he and I? But to some extent he was right. If that night I hadn't run away, I'd still be with Jack. I'd never have met Zac. Zachary Lenard. I pulled the chain to my chest as if it could read my heart and give me an answer. Should I just leave with Jack? He has been looking for me for all this time after all. I hadn't been fair to him. But.. Would I also be unfair with Zac? I already really liked him. I was afraid to say I loved him. I was doubting myself. And with this doubt, came the fact that I was questioning myself in everything. Did I really love the Lockharts'? Was I still being selfish? Evans... Did I really like him? Did I even like myself? Did I even trust myself? Right now... No. No I didn't. I  didn't want Zac to see how messed up I was. How messed up I had become. I looked at the chain more clearly. I didn't know what had attracted my eyes to it. I just knew I thought it would be perfect on Zac. I groaned in frustration as I plopped onto the bed. I let my tears flow freely onto the pillow before I heard a knock on the door.

“Who is it?”

''Who else. Who do you think is that handsome to knock on your door?'' Luke teased.

“I'm not feeling well,” I lied.

''If you were Pinocchio, right now your nose would have grown a couple of inches... I prefer metres,''

“I'm not...”

''Feeling well? Yeah. Me too,'' he kidded before his tone changed. ''Talk to me Julia. What's wrong. Father says you're not yourself these days. Mother is worried. They wanted to talk to you but aren't so sure whether you'll open up to them. Now tell me,'' I felt a pain in my earlobe to realize Luke was pinching me. I would have resisted for long had he not kept increasing the effect of his pinch by pressing his fingers in my earlobe harder.

“Ouch!” I smacked his hand away. “That hurts,” I rubbed my earlobe giving it the much needed calming effect.

''Why were you crying?''

“I wasn't...”

''Then what's this...'' he wiped a tear off of my face.

“It's nothing,”

''It's Zac isn't it?'' he paused. ''Tell me what he did and I'll make him pay,''

“No... No... No,” I replied hastily. “It's not him,”

''Wait... Isn't that the chain you bought that day we were heading to the race track?''

“I bought it for Zac,” I sighed fiddling with it.

''So... Why do you still have it then? He didn't like it?''

“Uhm... No... I've just... Just not had the opportunity to give it to him yet...”

''But every time I go to the restaurant his annoying presence is always around staring at you like some stalker creep,''

“It's complicated,”

''I'll never understand women,'' he raised his hands mid air dramatically. ''But if you want to know what I think... If he makes you happy... Don't take too much time thinking about it... And you know... Do you... Or do him... I don't know,'' Luke stood up to leave. ''You just have to find the right time. But that doesn't mean I like him. I mostly feel like pissing the crap outta him to ruin that calm and relaxed nature of his. It's like he has everything under control. It annoys the crap out of me,'' he walked out closing the door after him.

I turned to my side staring at the stars through the open window. My hand reached for the lampstand as I turned it off.

Guess I was part of the darkness after all. I shouldn't be afraid of it anymore.