i choose you // e.d

Sick or Brokenhearted?

Everyone is starting to get annoyed with me. They say they're not, but I can tell. They don't have to admit it.

I text Gray, "have you talked to E? he won't answer my texts."

"I think he's still in bed. I'll go check"

2 min later:

g: "yeah, he's snoring away."

I don't believe him. He just lied to me. I can literally see through Ethan's bedroom window & he's on his freaking computer.

me: "thanks."

g: "np (:"

should I talk to him or leave him alone? I don't want to bother him but I miss him. maybe I should just go over there.

I took a shower last night so I just throw on some black & white Nike shorts, one of Ethan's tshirts & my flip flops.

I slowly walk down the stairs, ignoring my mom's sobs coming from her room.

I walk out the door & walk over the yard to their house.

I knock on the door, I would usually just walk in but in this situation I felt awkward doing that. Ethan opens the door in his sweats & no shirt. good god..

"Oh, hey Makena.." He looks down.

"um, hey." I look over at my house, wondering if I should just book it now & run home, away from my problems. but my feet won't let me. they're planted to the concrete step.

I look back at E to catch him staring at me.

"Do you need anything?" Ethan asks me, looking at me confused.

I furrow my eyebrows at him, kinda offended.

"Well, Ethan. just in case you forgot, you are my boyfriend. or are you?" my eyes start to tear up but I suck it up. I can't let him see me this weak. not anymore.

"Mak, I've just had some time to myself." He rubs the back of his neck, looking awkward & uncomfortable.

"Yeah. & I've had plenty of time BY MYSELF." I yell at him. I got so angry, I couldn't even cry anymore.

I huffed & unplanted my feet from the ground, running home as fast as I could.

I run upstairs, into my bathroom & to to the toilet. I felt sick, physically sick. I cry over the toilet, hoping Ethan would walk in any minute & comfort me. but of course, that doesn't happen.

I should've known he'd back out when times got rough. first it was the cancer, now it's my parents. could it get worse?

oh wait. it just did.

*next day*

I woke up in my bed but I didn't remember how I got there. I remember crying my eyes out over the toilet & also throwing up a little bit.

I sit up quickly, apparently too quickly because I felt sick again. I go to jump off my bed to go to the bathroom, but I trip on something beside my bed. I look down & it's Grayson in my floor, sleeping.

I ignore it for now & go to the toilet. I sit in front of it & start throwing up my whole insides it felt like, & all of a sudden a hand falls on my back.

Grayson pulls my hair into a ponytail & rubs my back.

I continue puking my guts out for another 10 minutes. I feel my stomach feeling less nauseated so I grab a towel & wipe my mouth off.

Grayson helps me stand up & he walks me to the bed.

"what happened last night? why were you in my floor?" I ask Gray as he tucks me into bed.

"Ethan told me yall had a fight so I came to check on you, but you were in the bathroom floor with tear stained cheeks.. I figured I'd just put you in the bed but I was worried so I just stayed here." he explains.

"oh, thank you, Grayson. but you didn't have to sleep in the floor.." I trail off.

"I know." he says.

Gray stands there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"I don't know what's going on with me." I break the silence.

"food poisoning?" he suggests.

"Gray, I haven't ate in days.." I admit to him.

his fave turns white & he says, "then that's probably why. your body is going through withdrawls." he looks so sad.

"yeah, well I can't eat knowing everyone hates me." my voice breaks.

I turn over so my back is facing Grayson.

he comes to the other side of the bed & lays down beside me.

"we don't hate you. nobody does." he whispers while rubbing my shoulder.

"yeah." a tear rolls down my cheek.

"let's just sleep, yeah?" Gray smiles at me.

"okay." I whisper.

I close my eyes & go to sleep, once again. crying.