Daydream Away

Chapter 16: Resolving Problems

I woke up the next day. My back ached from sleeping on the floor. I wanted to cry but there was nothing left. I wanted to die. I kept asking myself why I wasn't dead yet. I stood up and walked over to the mirror.

Blood stained my face, arms and clothes. I sighed. I don't know how I'm going to make it from my room to the bathroom without anyone seeing me. I looked over to the alarm clock beside my bed. It read 6:32 a.m. 

It's still early so maybe no one is up yet. I quickly grabbed some clothes and put my hoodie over my head. I quietly opened the door and someone fell over. Alex. I gasped. "M-Maria?" His voice was raspy.

"Yes?" I asked. I moved my hair down so he couldn't get a good look at my face. "You didn't come out of your room all day yesterday. Are you okay? I was pounding on the door but you wouldn't answer.." He explained.

"I was passed out and had my head-phones in. Sorry.." I lied. "You slept all day?" He asked in disbelief. "Well no. I woke up eventually I just listened to music and sat in bed all day." I lied again.

"Alex go to sleep in your bed." I said. "No, no I'm fine. I'll go make coffee. Go take a shower." He ordered standing up. He was still half asleep.

I sighed and walked downstairs into the bathroom. My blade was in my pocket. God damn it. I laid my clothes on top of the toilet seat and turned the shower on. I stripped and grabbed my blade.

Then I washed my body and hair. Then I started to cut on my hips. All the way up to right below my chest. I sighed.

I'm such an idiot. So worthless. I stood up and watched the blood trail down my legs onto the shower floor then into the drain. I waited for a minute or two waiting for them to stop bleeding. 

I decided they were done now and got out. I dried myself off with a large white towel then changed into this; polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=81877398 

I quickly blow dried my hair and kept it natural then. put it in a messy bun. I walked to the kitchen where Alex was waiting for me drinking his coffee.

He was awake now. "Wrists." He demanded. "What?" I asked even though I knew well what he meant. "Show me your wrists." He demanded again. "Alex, no. I'm fine." I lied. "Then show me your wrists." He demanded. 

"Why don't you trust me?" I asked. "I do." He replied. "Clearly you don't." 

He sighed. "Fine. Don't show me." He stormed off. I sighed and made myself a cup of coffee. I brought my knees to my chest and drank my coffee. 

A few minutes passed and Rian walked into the kitchen. "Hey Maria.." He whispered softly. He sat in the chair next to me. "How's it going?" He asked. "Beautiful." I lied. He gave me his signature bright smile. "That's good to hear." He said.

"Cass want's to know if you'd want to go to the mall with her in a little bit." He offered. I shrugged. "I dunno.." I replied.. "Oh c'mon. It'd be good for you. Get your mind off things." He tried to convince me. "Alright." I gave in. 

"Great. She's taking a shower now. She'll be ready to go in like 2 hours so you have plenty of time to relax." He explained. I nodded and watched him make himself a cup of coffee. 

"Alex is mad at me.." I mumbled. I don't know why I did but I did. I guess I needed someone to talk to. Usually I'd talk to Haley but I haven't talked to her in fore- 

Alex was making out with Lisa the other night. Lisa. Not Haley. Lisa. I gasped and slammed my cup down on the island then ran up stairs. I banged on Alex's door. "Alexander William fucking Gaskarth!" I yelled. 

He opened the door. It looked as if he had been crying. "Alex I can't believe I didn't notice this earlier but you were making out with Lisa at the party. Lisa. What happened to you and Haley?" I yelled. 

"Haley's been ignoring me for the past few days.." He said in a raspy voice. "That doesn't give you the right to cheat on her!" I shouted. "Maria.. I was drunk, I had no idea I'm sorry. I just.. I sometimes go and drink my problems away okay. It's a bad habit I have. I'm sorry." 

I remembered Tom and his drinking problem.. I hugged him tight. "You need to talk to her. Invite her over to day, take her out on a date and tell her. She'll forgive you." I whispered to him. I pulled away and he sniffled.

"Clean yourself up first." I joked. He laughed a little. "I'm gonna go to the mall with Cass later okay?" I asked. He nodded. I messed his hair up. Then walked back downstairs into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that." I apologized. "It's cool. Why is Alex mad at you?" He asked. I shook my head as I took a sip of my coffee. "Never mind. It was nothing." I lied. He nodded understandingly. 

Two hours later Cass finally walked into the living room. "Are you coming to the mall with me?" She asked. I nodded. "Alright then, let's go." She motioned her head towards the door. 

We walked to the door and she opened it but then stopped in her tracks. "We're leaving! Be back in about an hour!" She yelled. Then she walked out the door to her car and I followed.

She hopped into the drivers and I got in the passengers. We buckled ourselves in then she pulled out of the drive-way. "How's life?" She asked. "You don't even wanna know." I mumbled rubbing my forehead. 

"What do you mean?" She asked. "It's messed up." I replied. "Spill." She ordered eyes locked on the rode. I sighed then began to explain everything that's happened so far starting from the night Jake beat up Alex, leaving out all my cutting and what not of course.

"That's horrible. I'm sorry." She said.

"I'm sure your dad didn't mean it. He's an alcoholic. Without all the beer in his system I'm sure he wouldn't have done all that. And Jake is a waste of your time. Don't worry about him, he'll never find actual love or anything. He'll be stuck doing drugs and shit for the rest of his life until he get's caught. And as far as Jack, he was probably out of it. He's been really upset lately and he was probably trying to get things off his mind."

She paused then began again, "Okay I realize that sounds bad but Jack did get fucked up that night and the night before. Same with Alex but just that night, which is why he made out with Lisa. Jack loves you though, no doubt about it. Don't sweat." She said.

"Wow, thanks. Really." I replied. She smiled. "No problem, I'm always here if you ever need to talk." She offered. I simply nodded and took out my phone and went to twitter. 

"@JackAllTimeLow: Seriously fucked up the other night." I sighed. "@AlexAllTimeLow: I hate being ignored, makes me feel like a worthless idiot." 

I went to my messages and clicked on Haley's name. I told her about everything that's happened. Then I told her to answer Alex's calls. She texted me back;

Haley: I'm so sorry, I've been so busy at work lately. Think I might quit :/

Me: Don't sweat. Just talk to Alex Alright?

Haley: I call him on my lunch break, let him know so he doesn't do anything stupid. 

Me: Gotchya' 

I then texted Alex and told him. He thanked me. 

Now we were in the parking lot for the mall. They were more busy then I expected. We got out of the car and walked inside. People were everywhere. "Where do you want to go first?" She asked. 

I shrugged. "Hot topic I guess." I replied. She nodded and led the way.