A Series of Letters to My Very Straight Crush

November 1, 2017

Dear Belinda,

Right after Halloween, the temperature outdoors dropped considerably, driving everyone inside.

That's why it wasn't a surprise when we saw you in the lunchroom Wednesday afternoon. What really surprised us is that you were laughing with the football players like you knew each and every one of them since forever.

We wanted to ignore you, but it felt weird - not just between me and the three girls in front of me, but between all of us. There was an obvious piece missing from each of our puzzles and it had your face on it.

The lunchroom had gotten noticeably tense at this point with 'Ooo's and 'Ew's flying left and right. I didn't want to look, but Rebelle, Rebecca, and MacKenzie's faces were stuck in a scowl as they gazed on. I was hoping they were glaring at something completely different.

Unfortunately, they weren't.

I turned to see that your lips were locked with Joey's. It was a spectacle for everyone to see and neither of you cared.

I kept trying to tell myself that you were happy, trying to convince myself that he was your savior - the Prince Charming you were waiting for.

I was trying to convince myself that I should be happy for you.

In the end, I wasn't happy at all. My body ended up carrying me to the bathroom faster than expected and I wept on the floor, my knees pulled to my chest.

I felt sorry for myself because that's the only person I'd been fooling this whole time. It took me two months to figure out that seeing you happy wasn't what made me happy.

Truth be told, having you by my side was what made me happy. Being able to talk to you made me smile.

You became a part of me in the span of two months and I just let you slip through my fingers. Now, you were with the guy of your dreams.

Happy.

And there I sat.

Alone.

Sincerely,

Delilah