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Awake, My Child✔️

Tessa POV:

The mind is a scary place.

So many unknown things about it and so many known things about it make it one of the most deadliest thing known to man.

If a person can think up things dangerous enough like nukes, the real terror isn't the bomb it's self, it's the people who thought up something so horrible.

My mind is a scary place.

My mind cannot be explained. Nobody knows what to calls my blackouts. They only happen when I'm fighting.

One of the reasons I would always use my brain instead of my fists was a because of my condition. I could control it if I was calm throughout the whole fight, but as demonstrated yesterday, my emotions got the best of me, which made it easier for the other side to take over.

I never had a name for the "other me". I usually just let it be.

But it's starting to become a huge part of me. A huge part of who I am.

Looking over at Kayla still unconscious for about the third or fourth day now, I lost count, I start to think about when she will ever wake up.

I miss my sister. She's still here, but she's so far away. Her mind isn't reachable to me anymore.

I wonder sometimes what she's dreaming about. Is it a easier life? Is it a life without all the screwed up shit? Are we on the ground? Are we still in space?

Is mom alive?

That thought hasn't crossed my mind in a while either.

Mom.

A sore subject for any member of this family. Mom was always the sun on our gloomy days. She cared for us better than I thought anyone ever could care for their children. She was willing so trade her life for ours in a heartbeat without hesitation. She gave us this chance.

And all we've done is waste it.

The only one who hasn't really wasted it is Sarah. The last time I saw her, she looked pretty integrated in the grounder culture. The face paint was visible on her face and she looked more warrior like. She was always a warrior, but it looked like she was more.... just more. It was really surreal now that I could properly look back on it.

Kayla's eyes flinched and mine opened wide as I went to say words but before I could, the doors to medical opened up and the stretchers rolled on as a grounder was on one stretcher and two mountain men were on another.

My eyes narrowed at them, wondering why they were brought here, but then my eyes found Clarke looking worried for them and I knew exactly why.

Intel. Use your enemies.

It was pretty smart.

"I need the blood now!" Abby shouts as she tries to keep the man alive. She whispers words to him that I don't feel like making out and he stares at her for a moment before the life in his eyes vanishes and his falls back down, his body slacking as his life force exits his body.

He's dead.

And I feel myself genuinely sad for a grounder.

Again.

As time goes on, I feel myself growing more and more sadder for people who, before, had no problem killing me. Now I have grown used to their ways slightly and can see that they are just like us, they just make it in different ways.

If anyone has shown me that we all are the same, it's Lexa. She thinks like us, but she also thinks like her people. She can't help it, that's how she was raised. But she wants change. And that's what makes her better.