Love Isn't The Way.

Chapter 3

I quickly take the seat right across from him, straighten my back,keep chin up and firm my posture.

'Look,let's just get down to business, I have literally no time for bullshit, tell me what you need from me so that I can be as far away from you as possible.' I was in no mood to get intimidated by him and I mentally praised myself for the extra champagne I took.

' Whoa, what's the hurry, darling, we have the whole night and from what I can remember you can manage even without getting a good full night sleep'.he said while rubbing his jaw making me blush, ohh what I'd like to do with that jaw. wait...what?

I narrow my eyes and try hard to glare at his face with his cocky grin plastered on but fail as I feel my face burning up.

' What do you want from me Alec?' I ask and stare at him with my most intimidating expression. I need to bring this game on my side. Even though I know I will lose.

'I won't tell you that, if you don't sit here beside me and have at least two drinks and one meal with me'.he said with his deep throaty voice as if I didn't obey he would gladly pick me up and place me beside him. Not that he hasn't done that before.

After continuously glaring at him for two minutes I finally get up and sit beside him but make sure to leave at least a foot distance between us.

'Fine, but we talk and eat side by side'.He grinned from ear to ear and even though he felt like he won this round, the feeling of victory was coming from inside me because Alec is not the kind of person who can laugh easily.  Being able to make him laugh means something to me.
We quickly order our dinner and a bottle of white wine.My stomach almost growls at seeing the food which made me realise that I actually haven't eaten all day. I quickly serve myself and take a sip from my wine which he filled. I take 2 quick bites which are surprisingly very good.

'There, I am eating, now can you answer my questions'. At this rate, I'll just get more and more agitated.

' Sure, ask away.' He replied and leaned back with his glass and took a seductive sip which made me remember things which I have stuffed in my mind for really long.

I quickly shook my head to clear out all the thoughts I had. 'Why am I here?why now? why after all these years ?'

' I'll be honest with you. After we separated, I was completely depressed, not having you in the same bed when we woke up, or next to me when I went for drive, or when I only had to make one cup of coffee instead of two, I thought it will pass that I would move on , that you were just some fucking girl but I....' he stopped mid-sentence.He suddenly closed my mouth which I didn't realise was left hanging, I was so shocked that the Alec Anderson fucking felt something towards me. Half of me was so disgusted and scared and the other half was delighted and happy, I mean I knew that he felt something towards me but I always thought it was lust not something like this. If this wasn't a declaration of love then I don't know what it is.

'But What. ' I urged him to continue.

'But I couldn't, all day all night, every fucking moment you were on my mind. I couldn't eat, couldn't even fucking sleep without having you in my dreams. I was so angry at you for leaving me. I was even angry for letting you go and I for the first time in a really long time I didn't mind being weak and admitting that I need you in my black life more than anything' I hadn't realise that he and I had unconsciously shifted towards each other.
I wanted to move but his gaze stopped me.

' It made me realise something Zen, is that I fucking love you'. There were two things I wanted to right now. One- Kiss him hard and forgive him for everything he ever did to me and second- Run for the hills.
It's like a roller coaster with this man and I don't know if I can trust him again.

A single tear escaped my eyes and I quickly brushed it out. I couldn't believe what he had said. A part of me wanted to run away and hide somewhere and another part, the part I kept buried for all these years wanted to tell him that I love him and kiss him right here but I was too scandalized to do anything.

'Please say something'.He whispered

I kept my glass on the table and for a minute just stared at him. Trying to figure him out.

' What do you want me to say'. I whispered back.

' Something.....anything' he said and I could see a hint of nervousness in his face.

'You're nervous' I said while staring at his grey eyes.

' Yeah and It's all because of you' he kept a hand on my face and I leaned in it.

' Alec....... don't you remember what happened the last time we were together, you hurt me, you broke your promise, you  lied to me, tortured me and now after all this time you force me to have dinner with you and tell me that you need me, l-love me ? Why ?' I said with more tears at the back of my eyes.

' Yes I did, it was all for and because of you Zenda  and I want you back.'he kept both his hands on my face and hardened his jaw.

'No' It was the only thing i could whisper before I started crying. or more like bursted out crying.