Love Isn't The Way.

Chapter 4

In no time I was whisked away in Alec's lap which once used to be my sanctuary and I cried my heart out. All the pain, all the hurt. My heart couldn't stand it anymore.Alec kept rubbing my back in a soothing pattern and let my cry. Just like old times i thought. when i finally recovered for what seemed like forever. I got up from Alec's lap even though he tried to hold me so I had to sit just beside him with our bodies continuously touching.A shiver ran down my body.

'Did I ever tell you that you look even more beautiful when you cry'. He said with a smirk on his face .

I couldn't help but laugh at his feeble attempt to make me laugh. When I looked into his eyes I saw something I hadn't ever seen. Maybe he had changed even if a little bit but maybe there was a chance. I mentally scoffed at myself for I knew that a man like Alec couldn't possibly change. But, still a small part of me hoped that he changed for good.

' Alec....don't you remember what happened the last time we were in the same room together, you hurt me in every way possible. Mentally,physically, you lied to me with no conscious or guilt at all and if that is the way of you loving me then I don't want it. I gave you everything without you even asking me for it. I loved you. I was ready to sacrifice everything for you but you and your fucking trust issues, your insecurities, your possessiveness, your ruthlessness, the wall between us is not because I left or some of my problems, it was because of you. You ruined an already broken relationship.' I stood up and was already on the verge of shouting.' No matter what we might feel for each other there is always going to be something or the other standing between us. And even if we manage to get past all of that I would never be able to trust you let alone love you again.'

'Zenda....' He started saying something but i cut him off

' No, no you can't just show up like this and demand like it's all yours because it's not. it might have been but not anymore.' I  say trying to hold back tears

'Zenda, come back and sit here' he said with his deep dont-test-my-patience-voice

When I didn't obey right away, he picked me up like a rag doll threw me on the couch and before I knew it he was above me, just inches apart. I started shoving him away but he held my hands in a firm grasp above my head. He leaned in closer, his eyes which were a moment ago soft were now full of rage and thunder.

'You will do as i say, you understand Zenda, because i might've started loving you but the beast inside of me can't be tamed which no one knows better than you.You should be happy that at least this time i am asking you or you would've been in my penthouse, in my bed, in this position by now. I love you and I know that you love me too because believe it  or not i see it in your eyes and I also know that there was no one before or after me in your life so stop defying me and come back home or I will pick you up, throw you in my car even gag or restrain you if necessary but one way or another, with or without your permission you are coming with me.'

'It's not like you haven't done that before Alec, remember? This is the exact same reason i don't want you back in my life, I have a great company and career ahead of me and I don't want  unnecessary things compromising that, you can take me against my will, keep me locked up in your penthouse but if there is one thing that has changed about me is that beyond the point where you can break me. I am not yours anymore Alec'

'YOU .. ARE..MINE' he snarled at my face and i shrank back in the couch

His grip on my hands kept increasing and i was pretty sure i'd have bruises by tomorrow.Suddenly I realise that i can't be here because i am going to cry, i know i am and if this time i start crying i won't stop. I need to get out of here.

' Please stop, you're hurting me. I'd like to go home, I need time to think, to process a-all that has h-happened today, please i am exhausted Alec. Please, just let me go home.' i saw that he won't let me go i added.' I promise i'll see you tomorrow, then I am ready to hear whatever you want from me' I tried to put on my best puppy face which wasn't hard as already I was on the verge of crying.

'Fine, but on one condition, you're spending the night with me tomorrow' He said with a big wide grin on his face

Honestly, I have no idea how he becomes from loving to hating to lusty.

'I am not having sex with you no matter what' I whispered with big frown on my face

'Who said sex? I just want you in my bed......... close to me' he whispered and slowly his lips crashed with mine and i couldn't stop myself from responding because if there's one thing i truly love about him is his ability to kiss me like it'll be the last time ever.