Brokenhearted (a Taylor Caniff fanfic )

Chapter 13

I've been trying so hard not to fall back into my old habits. I'm trying my hardest to get better not only for the few people who car about me but for myself as well. It's been hard as he'll not to pick that razor back up, it's all I've known for such a long time. At times I'm not sad I start to panic because I haven't known what it's felt like to be happy in so long. Any emotion other than sadness is so unfamiliar that when I start to feel the butterflies from Taylor's sweet comments or laugh at one of the boys stupidity my anxiety starts to build and build until I have an attack and I'm right back to my original state... sad

All of the boys have been really helpful, they helped before I met them, but now spending everyday with them we've all gotten so close. They done nothing but try to keep me occupied and happy.

Since my last encounter with a thumb tack a few days ago I have been being baby sat twenty-four seven. Haley, Mahogany, or one of the boys are with me at all times. Even when I have to pee, someone has to check the bathroom for anything sharp before I'm allowed entrance. They have every right to be worried, and I know they're only trying to help me get better, and to be honest with you if I could get my hands on anything I probably would hurt myself again. At first I protested these silly rules, but there's no use. They can all be quite stubborn especially Taylor and Cameron.

At the moment I am out shopping with Matt, Cameron, Taylor, and Haley. There is a huge formal event coming up, Matt is taking Haley as his date and Taylor insisted I come with him. No, he didn't ask, demanded is a better choice of words. Big events such as this aren't really my scenery, but there was no getting out of this one seeing as if everyone would be going and there would be no one to "babysit" me.

Everyone had a suitable outfit picked except for me. Not because I'm picky, but because every store was far far far above my price range. Keep in mind, the end of summer is approaching which means everyone will go back home and I will be out here in Cali struggling to survive, probably sleeping on street corners.

I stood to the side as Haley paid for her short, mint colored, corset style dress. It was really beautiful on her. It matched her skin time precisely. It was strapless and had a heart shaped neckline, the corset too was beaded with diamonds, the back was a crisscross tie with a bow and the end if the lacy string.

The boys had all gotten the usual black tux only the bow ties and cumber buns were different colors. Matt got a mint color to match Haley, Cameron got red, and Taylor got a golden color. I guess that means I'll be finding a gold dress.

As we walked from the tux store Haley skipped to my side, linking our arms together. I let out a small laugh, I love seeing her like this. Matthew has honestly made we so happy. I haven't seen her this giddy since her last boyfriend, Mark. He completely broke her heart although she'll deny it and say he didn't matter to her, I know the truth. He was her first love.

"Hey girly" she chirped in a high pitched tone.

"Hi" I smiled.

"So you like my dress?" she asked.

"Love it. It looks great on you. You're truly stunning HayHay" I said sincerely.

"Aw thanks, Par" she said calling me by my nickname that I haven't heard in so long. "Now we've just got to find you something. And quite throwing everything back. I know you don't have the money. I've got you, stop worrying. I've already told mama I'm using the credit card she gave me for the dresses. it's really not a big deal."

"Haley. You're not doing that." I said annoyed b her generosity. She's too kind sometimes and it aggravates me. Someday someone will take advantage of her kind heart.

"Actually I am. You're my best friend and I will not be seen with you at a formal in combat boots and ripped up shorts." She looked at me up and down making a disgusted look at my choice of clothing.

"What's wrong with my ripped shorts?" I asked pretending to be offended.

"Nothing. Nothing at all, but you can't really wear that to a formal." She corrected herself.

"Mhmm sure." I laughed. "I happen to think my shorts will really put me in the spot light."

"Absolutely, but not for the best dressed." She laughed with me.
Cameron, Haley, and I walked into the castle, another dress shop. Taylor and Matthew had left us to go into a different store. I think they were done with all this shopping. We began looking through the racks of different color dresses.

Cameron walked over to me hands full with different styles of dresses. I let out a small laugh as he struggled to see over the pile of dressed and make his way to me. I grabbed a few from the stack now seeing his face completely.

"Haley - wants - you - to try - these on. She's looking for more." He said in between breaths.

"Anymore and I'll be in here for days." I laughed turning to head toward the dressing room. I hung all the dresses with the help of Cameron before shutting and locking the door. I striped down to nothing but my undergarments and grabbed the first dress.

It's been 20 minutes now in this tiny room trying on dress after dress. Nothin seemed to fit properly. I have big boobs and not much of an ass so it's always been hard for me to find things that fit. I grabbed another dress from the pile. I unzipped it and and stepped into it, I zipped it up halfway but. Couldn't get it all the way up.

"Hey cam" I yelled hoping he was still sitting in the mirror area just outside the door.

"Yeah?" he yelled back. I opened the door and stepped into his view.

"Can you help me zip it all the way up?" I asked. He awkwardly nodded and I turned around moving my long hair out of the way. His hands were warm as they gently grazed the middle of my back, he slowly zipped it all the way. I released my dark curls and let them fall down my back. I stepped up onto the stage like thing surrounded by mirrors so that you could see every inch of yourself. I twirled a small twirl and played for a moment, I felt like a little girl again playing dress up with Haley.

This was the dress. It was beautiful. I showed my curves perfectly. It was a high low style dress. The front stopped just above the middle of my thigh and the back flowed out just below the back of my knees. It was the perfect golden color. The top was strapless and beaded the beads faded just below my waist.

"What do you think?" I asked doing a small twirl again before facing Cameron who stood there emotionless mouth agape. He almost looked as if he was in utter complete shock. "Hello. Earth to Cameron." I said waving my hands in the the air in front of his face.

"Uh-uh y-you l-look guh-gorgeous" he stuttered. His cheeks turning a slight red color embarrassed by his sudden lack of speech.

"Really? You think so?" I smiled. His compliment making me feel a million time better about wearing this 'monkey suit' as my daddy would call it.

"Yes. Really. You always look gorgeous." He said regaining his speech.

"Aw thank you, Cam. That really means a lot" I said, engulfing him in a hug that was broken shortly by Haley's presence.

"How's it going in here?" she asked referring to the dresses.

"I think I'm gonna go with this one." I answered. "You like?"

"Love. It's perfect. Now go change and let's get out of here. I'm exhausted." She complained and I obeyed, tired myself from this day of endless shopping.

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