Brokenhearted (a Taylor Caniff fanfic )

Chapter 31

I didn't lie to Cameron. I dont know where I am going or why i'm going, I just knew I needed to see it one last time. Part of me was hoping once I was back and saw the place again I would feel some sort of closure on my previous decisions, Life changing decisions that changed everything for better and for the worst. In these past months my life has changed dramatically, within a blink of an eye, everything was different. Most people believe in fate and destiny, I on the other hand believe in chance and luck. I've never been the type of person to have the best of luck with anything in my life, every choice, every emotion, every tear, every smile, every laugh, has all ended up turning around and biting me on the ass. Just when I feel like things could turn around, just when I finally feel love, comfort, and safety, just when I think I can finally rise above all of the pain and hurt that has scared my heart, life turns around and smirks before smacking me back down on my ass to my original state. 

I stand outside of the airport, everyone rushing past me as I stand frozen in my place, unable to function properly. I wipe the tears from my eyes as I slowly build the courage to walk over to claim my plane ticket. The lady before me stares holes in me as I pay for the ticket to California. I had to see it one last time. Part of me hoping that if I went back I would be reminded of the person I fell in love with and not the person who just broke my heart. 

"Have a nice flight, Miss" She mutters as I turn and walk away. 

I go through security with ease seeing as how the only thing i have with me is the clothes on my back. I board the plain and immediately find my seat, I lay back and rest my head on the head rest, begging for sleep to take over me and rest me from the antagonizing pain in my chest. My brain rattles back and forth as I replay the image in my mind, his arms around her waist the way they once were around mine, her fingers knoted in his hair the way mine were meant to be, his lips moving in sync with hers the way ours once fit perfectly together. 

The question I have yet to answer, but keeps eating me away slowly from the inside out. 

'How could I be so naive?'

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The plane lands soon enough and i'm standing outside of the airport taking in my surroundings, allowing several tears to escape and fall down my tear stained cheeks. I missed this smell, the wind blowing my hair, the warm fall sun hitting my icey skin. I missed this. I missed him. I missed my mom. I missed my daddy. I missed Haley. I missed Cameron. I missed feeling happy. I miss me, the old me, the real me, the me before I was corrupted by the eduring pain my heart ; what's left of my heart. The truth is he stole my heart and with in a single moment he destroyed it. He destroyed what little hope, happiness, and strength I had left. 

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I make it to the hotel, the same hotel, the very same hotel my whole world was flipped upside down. I pay for the room and i'm handing the key. I make my way up the elevator and to the door within moments everything looks exactly the same and for a single moment I forgot the previous events, I forgot the pain and I was back here simply having the summer of my life with the boy who stole my heart. But I only forgot for a moment, a moment that ended far too soon.

I unlock the door and once im safely inside with the door locked and the curtains shut, I slide down the wall and let go of all of the tears that had built inside me and had yet to escape. I was finally alone to cry to myself without people staring at me as if they'd seen a ghost, not that I cared what people thought anyways. It still felt nice to have some privacy to follow through with my plan the decision I made the moment I hung up the phone with Cameron.

Once i've sobbed my final sob I pick up my phone and dial the one number i've had memorized since 5th grade when we got our very first phones.

Haley.

It rings and rings, but no answer.

'Hi babe its Haley you've got my voicemail leave me a message and i'll get back to you when I can' I hear the oh so familier words and voice.

"Hi Hails. It's me. I dont have much time, but I wanted you to know how much I love you. I want to say thank you for everything you've done for the through the years. You're more than just my best friend, you are the person I trust most in this world. I hope that you can forgive me for this and you can understand why i've done what i've done. I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart, but I just cant do it any longer. I don't belong in this world anymore. I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you and Matthew live a long and healthy life together and have tons of babies and make sure to tell them that their Aunty ParPar loved them very much. I hope-" 

and the line goes dead as i've run out of time. 

I grab four pieces of paper from the desk and scribble down four letters.

One to Haley.

One to Cameron.

One to whoever finds me.

And....

One to him. 

This is it. 

I've shed my final tear. My hands tremble as I grip the pill bottle in my hand. I pour the lot in my mouth and I finally built up the courage and.... I swallowed. I lay back on the bed and rest awaiting for the end. The end to my pain. The end of my suffering. The end of the tears. The end of my life. 

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A/N

Okay idk if you guys saw this coming or not and im not sure how you guys are gonna react but I've worked really hard on fanfic and I wanted to make it my own and different. It's not your typical fanfic and that was my intentions because in life there is no happy endings or at least not in my opinion. I've had to suffer through alot of bullshit in my life and im not gonna lie i've had suicial thoughts, i've suffered from self harm and all of it. and i just want you guys to know its never the right answer. no matter how bad things get i promise you can make it through it. i've fought very damn hard and its not been easy but im still here and im very thankful for that and tbh i owe it all to Haley. shes my angel. shes changed my life so much since we met. and without her i probably wouldnt be here today. shes helped me and shes taught me so much. i look up to her in so many different ways and i love her so so fucking much. but basically i just want you guys to know im here for you if you ever need someone to vent to or you just want to talk feel free to message me, tweet me, or dm me. I cant thank yall enough for reading commenting and voting it honestly means the world  I LOVE YOU  ALL !!!!

Please comment your opinions on the story. and NO THE STORY IS NOT OVER JUST YET THERES MORE!!!

 ~ Angella <3