Brokenhearted (a Taylor Caniff fanfic )

Chapter 4

We've been in the boys room for hours just fooling around. These boys are so silly. I swear they can make you laugh without even trying. It's honestly a gift. Haley and I were now saying our goodbyes and heading back to our room. I immediately grabbed some comfortable clothes and skipped off to the bathroom. I turned on the water making it as hot as I could stand it. I let the big luxurious tub fill as I undressed and stared at myself for a long moment in the mirror. I'm so self conscious about my body. I'm not a stick like most girls now days. My stomach isn't completely flat. I have a small pudge below my belly button, I don't have a thigh gap, my arms jiggle... I have curves but they seem to be in all the wrong places. I put one foot inside the tub and then the other. I slowly sat down pulling my knees up to my chest. All the memories of yesterday's events came running back into my mind at a swift pace.

I just don't understand how my life got to this point. I use to be such a good kid. I never did anything wrong. I was what some parents would call the perfect daughter. Once my mom began to treat me so bad and call me all sorts of horrid names. I finally had enough and gave up. Gave up on everything. I had this 'fuck everything' attitude. I started going to parties a lot. I'm not even gonna lie. I've experimented with alcohol and such things. I even tried smoking, but nothing seemed to take the pain away. Except my blade. That's when I resorted to cutting ...

My blade...

God I wish I had it with me. I need it. It never turned it's back on me. It was always there when I needed it.

I looked around the bathroom looking for an alternative. Something to burn with, or bruise. anything will do. I don't have many options. I began to cry harder than before. I had nothing. I just want the pain to go away even if it's only temporary. I could feel my anxiety raising as I started to panic.

I needed something. Now.

My eyes then landed on the shaving razor sitting just a feet in front of me on the side of the tub. I instantly reached for it. I looked at my wrist, razor in hand , there were scars covering most of my four arm. I sliced at the skin, I flinched at the pain and burning sensation going through my arm, but I liked it. The water I was sitting in began to turn scarlet red from the blood that ran from my wrist. I cut deeper and deeper until I began to become a bit dizzy. It was then that I stopped. I didn't want to die I just wanted the pain to go away.

Haley's POV

Parker had been in the bathroom for an hour now. What in the world is she doing ? What's taking her so long ? I began to panic as worry took over my body.

No.

She wouldn't. She promised me she would stop. She can't be cutting. She has nothing to cut with. She couldn't have brought her razor on the plane.

I ran to the bathroom and opened the door. Tears filled my eyes as I saw the blood. The tub water was almost completely red. The red liquid gushed from her arm. She looked at me with guilt, hurt, and worry in her eyes.

"You promised me. You promised Parker." I scream. The tears flood from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Haley. I couldn't help it. I had too " she replied her voice cracking on every word.

"I can't fucking loose you Parker." I scream even louder than before. "Do you even understand how I would feel if I lost you. I can't keep watching you do this to yourself."

She simply looked down, breaking her eyes away from me.

"Do you ever-" I started but was quickly cut of by a loud knock coming from the door. I paid it no attention and kept screaming. "Parker do you even care how I will feel? Do you realize that when you hurt so do I?" I kept rambling on. Parker looked up and there was nothing but pure shock on her face. But she wasn't looking at me. She was looking at something behind me. But what? An I remembered the knock from the door.

But who? I turned around to a face that looked to be horrified at the scene in front of them.

__________________________