When Paths Cross *A Clexa FanFic*

Chapter Twenty

Lexa's POV

"Do you want to-"

"No." I quickly cut him off, staring down at the coffee between my shaking hands as I gripped tightly onto it, desperately regaining my composure."It's nothing. She just brought it up and I quickly shot it down."

"Why'd you shoot it down so fast?" He leaned back into the booth, Lincoln had decided to take me to Indra's diner to talk. Though I reluctantly refused, my stomach said otherwise.

"It's a touchy subject. You know that Lincoln."

"I know, but.. you told me you were over it."

"I am. It's just.. my family and now-now Costia.." tears blurred my vision as I glanced down at my coffee, my shoulders slacking against the efforts of holding it all in together. "It's a lot to handle.."

"Costia was never good for y-"

"It doesn't mean she deserved to die" I hissed snapping my head up, the tears slinking away refusing to drop. "I still love her."

"Loved." He corrected with a soft voice, leaning forwards. "Lexa, you need to move on, live a bit."

"Live a bit" I snorted, "Yeah, I'll 'live a bit' after seeing Costia die in front of me."

"I'm serious. I'm worried about you." I looked into his eyes, he was always there for me, the only person I have opened up to in years. He was practically my brother, my father, everything I never had.

"I'm fine, really Lincoln." I gave him what I hoped to be an assuring smile, though my shaking hands,that reached for the fork and knife as the steaming food was placed in front of us, said otherwise.

--

"Fuck!" My throat felt dry, my eyes empty from producing anymore tears as I have wasted them all tonight as I lay in Costia's bed. I sat up, taking shaky breaths, this isn't real. She can't be gone. I glanced at my phone, the screen popping up with missed calls from Lincoln, with a shout of frustration I tossed my phone to the side.

"You're so fucking pathetic!" The sound of glass breaking shattered against her worn out wall. "Past Commander Costia dies from one.. one fucking bullet! It's so stupid!"

"You're a warrior Costia! You're the commander! You taught me.. why would you-you leave me" This continued for hours of senseless shouting and breaking of her belongings, my chest heaved up and down in ragged breaths as I slipped down to the floor, my back against the cold empty walls."Please.. come back to me" I croaked out, my shoulders shaking as I cradled myself, biting my lip to keep from unleashing the words that I wanted to yell. The words that held power. I'm weak without you.

--

"So? Is that a yes?"

".. fine. But, don't invite too much people like last time" Lincoln gave a shrug and went off to inviting almost the whole school as usual. Lincoln had convinced me to hold a party, so I could 'live a bit'. No, I didn't tell him about what happened, but he didn't need to know. Nobody did. There was one particular person I wanted to invite to the party myself, that person was standing only a mere few feet from me, her back to me as she searched through her locker. I silently walked over to her side, after a few moments of silence I finally cleared my throat, raising her attention to me.

"Oh, hey Lexa.."

"Hello, Clarke." I stood straight, my hands holding the envelope behind my back.