The New Adventures of Nomi Darklighter

Chapter 26 - Father and Son

The next day, Nomi, Dash and Snap were having lunch in the mess hall when Poe Dameron approached their table.
Without being asked, he sat down on one of the vacant chairs. Dash looked up from his plate.
"What's up, Poe?"
Dameron leaned over the table.
"I need your help," he said in a subdued voice. "Ambassador Tarik has managed to acquire replacements for the lost X-wings. I don't know how he did it in such a short time. In two standard weeks, we're supposed to meet the freighter transporting the fighters to Endor and then escort it here."
Nomi also leaned over the table.
"And why are you making such a secret of this, Poe?"
The commander grinned broadly.
"Because I'm a damn cautious man. Can I count on all of you?"
The three pilots nodded.
"Well, I expected nothing less from you. I'll see you in three standard days to discuss the mission."
Saying this, he stood up and went to the door, which had just been opened by Biggs Rendar. The young pilot pushed past Dameron and went to the table where his parents were sitting with Snap. There he dropped into the chair the commander had just vacated. Wexley picked up his plate and stood up.
"If your son is in such a hurry, then there's something on his mind that's not meant for my ears. I'll see you later at the field exercise."
When Snap sat down at another table, Nomi and Dash looked at their son questioningly.
The young Jedi bit his lower lip, which was always a sign of tension.
"Um, I don't think this is the right place to talk to you," he said, looking around.
His parents had finished their meal by now.
"If you want, we can go to our quarters," Dash suggested.
His son nodded.

They left the mess hall together and made the short walk to their quarters.
After they had entered, Biggs sat down on one of the folding chairs at the table. His parents also sat down and waited to hear what their son had to say. It had to be important if the otherwise taciturn young man wanted to talk to them.
Biggs bit his lower lip again.
"Please don't tell Corran that I told you this," he began hesitantly. "But I can't stand the way he hurts you anymore, Mama. He's changed since the attack on the academy. Before, he was calm and even-tempered, but now he's so full of anger, even towards you. I can sense it. I don't know how to help him forget everything."
He sighed deeply.
"You should know, there was a girl..." He paused, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Sheila was his great love...we found her dead in the hangar. Corran's desperate scream still rings in my ears. I sensed such anger and hatred in him as he fought our way out with his double-bladed lightsaber. These feelings have stayed with him ever since. I'm scared for my brother. When I ask him to meditate to calm down, he won't listen to me at all. He doesn't want to use the Force anymore because it has taken everything that was important to him. I would like to help Corran, but I don't know how."
Wiping the tears from his face, he looked hopefully at his parents.
Nomi shook her head.
"We can't help your brother if he can't know that you told us what happened."
"He'd be very angry with me," Biggs muttered, looking at the floor.
Dash had listened the whole time without saying anything. His wife could see that he was deeply moved by what he had heard. He cleared his throat and Nomi had a hunch about what he was going to say. His youngest son had now suffered the same fate that had befallen him so many years ago.
"I'm not a Jedi, Biggs, just your father, but I think I can help Corran. Do you know where I can find your brother?"
Biggs nodded his head.
"You'll find him by his X-wing, he wanted to recalibrate the controls."
His father stood up and went to the door.
"Wish me luck, because I'm afraid the conversation won't be easy."

Reaching the landing pad of the base, Dash heard loud cursing from a voice he was all too familiar with. As he got closer, he saw Corran sitting in his X-wing, furiously pounding the yoke.
Seeing his son like this, Dash sighed. The timing couldn't have been worse for a conversation with him. But he had no choice if he wanted to help his child.
"Problems with the controls, Corran?"
His son looked up from his work.
"Looks like it, father. It's no use, I can't get it right."
He jumped out of the fighter and landed on the ground a few centimeters from his father.
Dash remembered his youngest son always having to look up to him as a child, but now they were eye to eye. He saw the simmering anger in his son's eyes.
"You're not just angry about the controls, are you?"
Corran shook his head.
"I've been watching you for a long time, son," Dash began. "You don't laugh anymore and you lose control over the smallest thing. You don't give your mother a good word anymore. What's wrong with you? Do you have so little trust in me that you won't talk to me? Your mother is afraid you'll give in to the dark side."
The young Jedi gave a short, joyless laugh.
"The dark side... I will never give in to the dark side, father."
Dash looked him in the eye and Corran lowered his gaze.
"Tell me what's wrong with you. What's changed you?"
The young Jedi looked up and tears glistened in his eyes.
"I'm torn up inside, father. These images, I just can't get them out of my head. Sheila... Kylo Ren and his henchmen killed her. She didn't hurt anyone. Biggs and I found her dead in the hangar," he said sobbing. "She was the love of my life."
Dash gently took his son in his arms.
"I know how you feel now, Corran. I too lost my first love many years ago, before I met your mother. I never spoke to you about that sad story. Only your mother knew about it. Her name was Tasherit, I named your sister after her. We were engaged and she was expecting my child," he took a deep breath before continuing. "I wasn't there when it happened. Neighbors told me she was at the market when there was a riot. The stormtroopers patrolling the area fired into the crowd regardless of whether they hit bystanders. Tasherit was shot and our unborn daughter died with her. Suddenly all my wishes and hopes were shattered. I thought I would never be able to recover from this heavy blow. Over time, I built up a wall of arrogance and aloofness because I never wanted to be hurt again. But then your mother crossed my path and I fell in love with her. She gave me back the joy of life, even though I initially refused to accept my feelings for her."
He paused for a moment, knowing he had to choose his words carefully now.
"Your Sheila was a Jedi, Corran, honor what she was and follow the path she walked that she couldn't finish."
Corran broke free of his father's embrace and looked into his eyes, in which he recognized traces of grief over the loss of Tasherit. He nodded.
"Yes, father, you're right, Sheila wouldn't have wanted me to give up everything and that there's only hate and anger in me. I am a Jedi and I will be a Jedi until my last breath."
His father nodded, pleased that he was able to get through to him.
"I think you would make your mother very happy if you came to training tonight too."
Corran smiled and left without a reply.

Dash looked after him as he left, hoping that he would resume his Jedi training.