Anxiety vs normal

17

All I saw was fire. He's in there is all I could think. I did this. It's all my fault.
All I heard were sirens and his screams. Then it got silent. He's not gone, I know he's not.
I won't loose him again.
"No! Samuel! Please come back Sammy!!"
—

I woke up screaming, hoping my aunt and uncle didn't hear me. I laid there for a few minutes to see if they'd come but they didn't thankfully.
Finally I got myself out of bed and climbed to the roof.
"Hey! You okay?" I hear Joey asks making me jump.
"Yea. Why are you up?" I ask as he sits next to me.
"Couldn't sleep" he shrugged eyeing me.
"You ever lose someone that means the world to you?" I sighed looking at the stars. "Have you ever lost your best friend. That one person who understands you. Knows the real you? That one person who you dedicated yourself to... And now they just disappear all because of you."
"Bre... What happened?"
"Nothing Joey. I'm just fine. Perfect even. Goodnight joeseph."
-------
I didn't get any sleep. My ankle was killing me, my head was throbbing. I managed to get up and get dressed for the day. Now I'm in first period trying to do my work with joey staring at the back of my head, Alex poking me for the answers, and max texting me even though he's across the room.
"Breeeee please I dont know how to do it." Alex begged.
"Leave me alone." I huff as I stand up and turn my paper in. "May I go to the restroom?" I ask the teacher
"Yes hurry back."
So yes that was basically my day at school... One more day and we'll finally have christmas break!
----
At home I managed to avoid mikey and stay with my friends all day.
"Hey you wanna go down to the tracks with us?" Alex asked as him and the boys walked in and sat nexr to us
"I'll go" i smiled
"Umm sure." Selena shruged.
--
The tracks meant illegal races.
I knew that but what I didnt know was mikey was coming with a friend of his named teala. She was nice and pretty. I liked her and they said they are just friends. That's what they act like too. Its not like I'm jealous or anything.
"You okay?" Joey ask sitting next to me on the back of Josiahs truck.
"Yea. I'm fine why?"
"You seem quiet and distant since this morning."
"Oh. I'm just tired. Didn't sleep much but you already Know that"
"Right." He nodded towards Mikey who was laughing with Alex "are you guys ok?"
"Honestly I have no idea" I shrugged. I got up and started walking towards the little truck stop they had.
"Can I have a coke please" I pay and walk back towards the truck as teala walks up to me.
"Hey. So your the girl Mikey can't get over huh?" She smirks
" I guess so?"
"He talks about You alot you know. The one that he left. He didnt mean to hurt you. "
"Or so everyone tells me."
"Trust me hes like a brother to me and even if he can be a dick its true."
"Thanks"
"Anytime"