"I hope you see that even on my best days, I dream about running away... (I hope you see how hard I have tried to wrap my arms around the word 'enough'.) And I hope when the time comes, you won't hold it against me for leaving the way I won't hold it against you for needing to stay." –Chloe Frayne.
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"Today I forgive myself for wanting what never wanted me. Today, I let you go." –Chloe Frayne.
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"When I looked into her eyes, I see pieces of stars and I cannot help but wonder who owned the sky that stole the rest." –Chloe Frayne.
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"I build a world around you and still never felt like a part of it." –Chloe Frayne.
I locked my phone just to stop myself from reading the quotations that were slowly piercing my heart. They're just so damn relatable and I feel like they are slapping me one by one just to make me realize that I should think of myself too. Not just her... her... her... Lalisa.
She is a poem that I could write everyday no matter how tired my eyes are, how clouded mind could be due to a long-day work, or how busy I am because I wouldn't want to miss jotting down all the beautiful things about her (or even her flaws which I don't really mind at all). And even when my poems would turn into a book when compiled or series because they're just so massive, I would not share it with the world because that book or its sequel would speak about her. Because in as much as I wanted everyone to appreciate her, I do not want to share the beautiful moments exclusively witnessed by me because someone might steal her away from me... even my memory.
And I cannot afford to lose her because I know that I have invested so much of my feelings to her already that I do not know what to do without her in my life. But I must admit though, she is slowly slipping away from me no matter how hard I try reaching out to her.
I am struggling so bad right now... I'm struggling with finding the balance to make her stay while recollecting myself to be whole again so that I could be worthy of her.
People around me kept on saying that I shouldn't be too hard on myself because what she's putting me through is too much already. But I told them that I can still bear the pain her negligence, lack of love, and putting me in the least of her priority has brought.
Then my best friend, her sister, asked me the question that made me question the simplest reason why I'm still fighting for her... "Until when are you allowing my sister's bullshits, Jennie?"
Since that day, I was just finding the right timing where I could finally prioritize myself over anyone else, even Lalisa.
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Devoid
Romance"So she asked me if I've already moved on from her. I told her that yes, I did... I have to. And I saw how anguish flickered from her eyes followed by uninterrupted tears which I eventually wiped before I could explain the things about her that I ha...
