Devoid

FACE-OFF

"Still thinking of a comeback?"

Hindi parin niya sinagot ang tanong ko. Instead, she once again sipped her coffee and graciously placed the cup on the saucer. And while she's enjoying her quiet coffee moment, I'm secretly staring at her face.

Don't get me wrong. I am not attracted to  Chaeyoung but it's fair to say that she is an epitome of a refined woman. She would always wear her designer formal attires that would match her wavy brown hair, to-die-for eyebrows, brown eyes, narrow nose, and sultry lips. According to my sister and Jennie, she is a consistent honor student from elementary to college. In fact, she is also a topnotcher during the dentistry licensure program.

However, her ever-present emotionless expression has been proven to intimidate the people around her. It would probably cost her a fortune to genuinely smile even for just a second but won't hesitate to give a sarcastic smile just to piss people off. She would surely end up an old maid if she lives on that cold character of her.

"I know that you have hidden desires for Jen. Am I right?" I asked.

She gave me a powerful glare. Damn, her eyes are full of stories.

"You are pretty obvious, you know," I continued.

"My first day in high school was quite hard," Chaeyoung finally opened her mouth. "I'm a transferee at LDU and have no friends at all. It was so hard for me to mingle with other students because I still have this culture shock so I chose to be alone most of the time. Jen, Irene and the rest of the group were popular not only in the classroom but in the whole university as well..."

"... Among the girls, it was always Jennie who caught my attention not because of her beauty alone but because of the fact that she is always on point during class discussions. I know that she is pretty much unaware of that but I love listening to her thoughts when given a chance. Like Irene, she is loud and clingy too but I don't know why I'm always amused by her..."

I just let her carry on with her speech because damn, this is the longest one that she made in front of me so far. She is always reserved... kaya pala ang dami niyang baon ngayon.

"... During our second year in the middle school, we would always belong in the same group during projects or class activities. Those were the times when I got to know her even more. She does not only have a smart mouth but is very creative as well... especially in handling cameras... Then one night, she sent me a text message regarding a group activity but we ended up talking about random things..."

"... Since that night, she would always talk to me in the class and we would send each other text messages. We became closer to each other and I became part of their clique after she invited me to join them on a three-day beach holiday..."

"...After that trip, the way I looked at her is way different compared to Irene, Wendy, Joy and Yeri. My ear would ring every time I hear her voice, I could always recognize her scent as if it has a residency in my nostrils, my body would feel numb whenever she accidentally touches my skin or whenever she would lean on my shoulders or hug me during sleepovers..."

"... It was during the summer vacation of our second year when I realized that I'm f-falling for her. I panicked and became depressed because I don't want to be labeled as a lesbian, gay, or tomboy. I don't want to be the subject of mockery among students... I don't want to feel insecure and an outcast in the judgmental society..."

"... During those dark days, Jen was in Wales. I know that it should help because I can't see her every day. But there's the internet and our friends who would invite me to different places... always mentioning Jen's name every damn time and it would make me shiver and miss her even more. The joke of the universe must be on me..."