Devoid

HOOKED

(LISA's POV)

"Hi, I heard you're into girls. Maybe we could get along, you know," the gorgeous girl in front of me said in a very seductive tone.

"Stop it Niki, hindi bagay sayo," I replied.

I'm currently in the waiting room of "DC Bar", where I am one of the resident DJs, with my best friend Niki who came to visit me.

"Joke lang, ano ka ba? Patay ako kay ate Jennie kung sakali, no."

'Jennie'... it's been two months since I last heard her name and saw her face. It's all because I've been keeping myself busy just to avoid thinking about her. I also haven't told any of my friends who knows about our relationship that we have broken up already because there's a part of me that cannot accept it. I don't know, my life is just pretty messed up right now and I'm so torn between the dreams that I have to achieve and the pain that I have to bear as I leave the important matters in my life for my dreams.

"Hey! You're so quiet! Anyway, what if I date girls? Baka mas exciting yun, diba?"

"Niki, stop messing around. If you like someone, gender won't be an issue," I lazily explained.

"Kung sa bagay... Kamusta na pala si ate Jennie? Ang tagal ko na siyang hindi nakikita... girl crush ko pa naman iyon... I saw her last post in Insta, medyo pumayat siya pero hot parin."

Before I could even answer, one of the waiters in the club informed me that my set is up in ten minutes so I excused myself from Niki and proceed to the comfort room. Honestly, I'm thankful that I wasn't able to answer her question because I don't have any ideas about Jen's whereabouts. My sister is also out of the country with ate Seul so I don't have any information to draw from.

...

I immediately locked the door when I reached the comfort room and drew a small sachet of aluminum foil and a tiny glass tube from my pocket. After doing so, I fold the toilet cover and opened the foil to sniff its content through the glass tube.

"Shit, yeah. This feels good."

I sniffed once more until none is left inside the small pack.

For a couple of minutes, I sat on the floor to feel the weird sensations in my veins. Right after, I cleaned up the little mess that I've made and proceeded to the stage to entertain the crowd with some crazy music.

...

"Make some noise for DJ Gypsyyyyyyy!" said the emcee.

"What's gooood party people?!"

And there, I started playing the music and grooved with the sound as I maneuvered the different part of the console... My heart is beating loud as if it's competing with the loud beat of the sound system... The people, from teenagers to adults, are crazily dancing like lost souls in the middle of the dance floor... some are shouting... some are singing the lyrics of the song... some are drinking their choice of liquors... some are making out.

I feel so hyped... like I'm going out of my skin... like I'm going crazy if I won't release the energy within me. I'm lost in the music and the whiskey and the joint that I am consuming once in a while. I'm on the verge of happiness and loneliness and emptiness.

Everything seemed to be fast forward. From my playground, I'm swaying like a plant in the middle of a sandstorm. I'm like a nomad, I allow myself to get lost in the middle of nowhere.

I feel no pain. I feel no longing. Sweet brief escape.

...

My head is terribly aching for almost an hour and I'm currently inside my car trying to rest to ease the pain but it won't just go away.

"Fvck coke," I muttered.

I've been taking cocaine for more than five months already. It has helped me in my hours-long gigs and boosted my mood as I play different beats to people. However, in as much as it can lift you high up above, it has this treacherous effect which can make you feel like you are tossed up and down from a 30-storey building. In other words, it can make you go crazy or kill you.

I'm not really a full-time idiot. I know its adverse effect and I know that this will be the end of me once I continue taking it. But for now, it's the only thing that could help me overcome my anxieties and desperation. I hope I could withdraw from it soon.

Once I felt the sickening feeling in me subside, I turned on the car ignition. I will not go home yet. It will just make me feel lonely and empty once again. So I just decided to proceed to the "Cozy Beans", a coffee shop that I co-owned with my sister. It's 15 minutes after 6 so it's already open at this hour and I badly need a cup of cappuccino and a cinnamon roll.

"You're still listening to Magic FM. This is DJ Cici and right now, I'll be playing to you Niall Horan's latest single titled 'Too Much to Ask'."

Waiting here for someone
Only yesterday we were on the run
You smile back at me and your face lit up the sun
Now I'm waiting here for someone...

My shadow's dancing
Without you for the first time
My heart is hoping
You'll walk right in tonight

You tell me there are things that you regret
'Cause if I'm being honest I ain't over you yet
It's all I'm asking
Is it too much to ask?

I felt a pang of pain as I listen to the lyrics of the song. I don't know why I'm so affected to each words and it's making me crazier because this do not just happen this morning... this happens every single day right after my gigs. The radio stations are probably trying to mock and hurt me at the same time for whatever reasons they have.

And suddenly, a familiar face appeared on my mind...

Jennie.