Panthera Onca ➳ Derek Hale

08. Time Of Death

Jade's P.O.V

   I woke up in the middle of night and couldn't fall back asleep. Derek was sleeping next to me, with his hand on his wound. I moved his hand slowly and tried to lift a little up his shirt and see what's going on with his wound. I just want to make sure that he's getting better. I'd rather take his pain and help him heal than let him stay like this.

   "What are you doing?" I jumped. Derek looked amused from the fact that he scared me. Did he have to pretend to be asleep? My heart was racing.

   "I was trying to check up on you. You didn't have to scare me like that." He smiled. 

   "Go to sleep, Jade. I'm fine." I shook my head. "I'm fine." He repeated.

    "Yeah, you're fine... Besides the fact that you lost your werewolf powers. We need to do something about this, Derek."

   "Jade." He stopped me. I felt sad inside. He's not going to die. He can't just die. There's no way that's happening, my visions never lied before. "Whatever Kate wanted to do... It's working. I'm dying slowly and-"

   "Don't say that. Please, don't." A tear escaped my eye, and he cleaned it. I savored every moment I had with his touch. I can't lose him. I'm not sure I can live without him. Fuck, just the thought about losing him makes me emotional. This is the only thing I can think about when I look at him. I love him. We're having a child together... 

   "I don't know how to fix it, Jade. I tried, I really did." I shook my head again.

   "You didn't try enough." A smile appeared on his face. But I could see the pain he was in when he smiled like that. "You can't die. Not when we're finally starting a family."

   "I'll continue trying, for you."

   "For us." I corrected him. He stroked my hand and nodded.

   "Now, go back to sleep." I sighed as he lied his head back on the pillow. I noticed a gun on his nightstand. Curious, I reached to it, but he stopped me. "We agreed to go back to sleep, right?" My hand reached back to my body.

   "I thought you don't like guns." I murmured.

   "I don't, but I have to keep you safe in some way." I felt confused. Does he think that this is what'll get us safe? 

   "First, I can protect myself." He shook his head. Hey, I can. "Second, you don't know how to use a gun."

   "I'll find a way to learn." I chuckled. "What's funny? It's not like you know how to use one."

   "I know how to use weapons, in case you forgot." I slowly got up from bed. I felt a little bloated, but I'm here to help, since I won't get back to sleep. "I can teach you how to use a gun."

   "Jade, go back to sleep." He demanded, and I pouted, giving him a face that he couldn't say no to. "Fine." He got up from bed, and I smiled widely at the fact that he got up for me. "You're coming back to bed whether you like it or not." Oh, shit. He picked me up as he hissed in pain, and made me lie back down.

   "Ugh! You're unbelievable" I whined. He laughed and kneeled on the floor, next to my side of the bed.

   "What?" He asked, and I shrugged. I've been feeling this for a while. Beacon Hills doesn't do good for us. Since the moment we got here we've been fighting nonstop. We've faced so much danger that I don't think a child should be facing. I can't let our child raise here. I don't know how my parents raised Max and I here. I don't even know why I'm thinking about this right now. Derek's sure his days are counted... "Tell me, Jade."

   "I'm not sure if I want to raise our baby in Beacon Hills. With everything that's happening here, it's too dangerous to raise a child. I mean, we can protect ourselves, but with the baby... It's another responsibility that I'm afraid to take." He nodded. I think he waited for the moment I'll tell him that we should leave.

   "Just say it." I sighed.

   "But I don't want to leave Scott and-"

   "I think that he's old enough to function on his own, Jade." He grew up so fast, I mean, I remember when Derek and I first met him... When we helped Scott and the pack he built through everything they faced. "We can pay them a visit from time to time, if that's what you want."

   "Are you sure you won't die before we move out of here?" I noticed tears rolling down my cheeks. Derek chuckled. My crazy mood swings are probably driving him nuts. He used his hand to clean my tears from my cheeks. Fuck, he's so caring...

   "Oh, this is so adorable. You're so adorable. These pregnancy hormones are adorable." He placed a small smooch on my lips and I chuckled as the tears continued to roll down my cheeks. He finds it adorable? I think he's the only man to ever say this...

   "I didn't mean to cry, I don't know what's happening." He smiled.

   "I don't understand why I got so lucky being with you. I love you, Jade." I smiled back at him and gave him a small kiss back. "I'm so happy I got to grow up with the love of my life."

   "I feel the same. All the stuff we used to do while growing up together. I remember how no one but you helped me calm down from my nightmares when I was little. I remember how Talia always caught you sneaking to my room and took you back to your bed even though you didn't want to... Until you stopping coming to comfort me." As we grew up, we distanced. The fire was what made us grow closer. He became more protective about me. Maybe because he was afraid to lose me too after everything that happened. "I remember catching feelings for you even though I didn't want to. Everything you've done got me feeling like you liked me. I was afraid it'll ruin our friendship." He stroked my cheek. Can this moment stay forever? The way he's staring into my eyes... I can see the love in his eyes. I can see how much he cares.

   "I always had a crush on you. I came to cheer you up because it hurt me seeing you cry. I stopped coming because you never told me what were those nightmares about and I was a dumb kid being offended about it." I looked down. I will break his heart if I'll tell him how I could've saved them all. How I could've warned everyone. Our poor families; humans, werewolves, visionaries, werejaguars... All could've been saved.

   "Derek..." I stopped myself from continuing. I felt the lump in my throat demanding me to stop talking. The tears continued to run down my cheeks. Derek cleaned my tears.

   "What?" He asked with the kindest smile on his face. I can't hide it from him anymore. It's been so many years ever since... I must tell him and break the heart of that kind smile.

   "Those nightmares were about the fire." I cried. There's no use in trying to fight the tears. I felt a pinch in my heart to see that smile fade away. "The fire that killed our families." It was hard for him to hear it. I shouldn't have told him about this... It was wrong of me.

   "You dreamt that every night?" I nodded, and he pulled me into a hug. I felt surprised that he did that. I was expecting him to get angry, I mean, that's what I would've done. "Oh, Jade. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you had to go through that every night."

   "My parents knew about it and that didn't do anything because they said they can't change a vision." I continued to weep as I talked. He pulled away, cupping my cheeks with his hands.

   "They're right." He softly stroked my head. "I know how hard it might be for you, but you shouldn't take the blame. I'm sure that your parents understood well enough to know that they shouldn't try to change it. You always told me we can't change a vision, maybe they knew the dangers behind it." I nodded. "But I'm happy that we get to continue our families. To get a Hale-Anderson combination." He chuckled, and it made me smile.

   "Aren't you mad?" He shook his head.

   "I have no reason to be mad, Jade. I can't change the past. I've learned it in the hard way." He got up and walked to his side of the bed, then lied down. We both lied on our sides so we'd look at each other. "Everything will be okay. I want you to calm down. I can't let you face this stress. It's unhealthy for you and the baby." I nodded. His hand landed back on my cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb. Cherish this moment, Jade. Who knows what might happen...

☼