Interrupted Heart

2 MONTHS BEFORE

"Shae, where are you going?!" Tears were threatening to roll down my face. This always happened this time of year. Valentine's Day. The day where couples come together to show each other how much they loved one another. I thought that you were supposed to do that every day of the year. I guess that I'm the odd one out. I pulled my vest top on and quickly got up from the sofa. He turned back to me glaring as if I was a disease.

"You don't want it? Fine. I don't need you ugly bitch."

"I'm sorry. Please come back." Continuing his course, he grabbed his jacket as I followed behind him.

"You never want to give me none. I have needs, okay?! Who else you fucking?"

"Nobody! And you know it!" He came up to me and crouched slightly so that our noses were touching.

"Do I?"

"Are you joking? You took my virginity. Isn't that justification enough?!" A sinister sneer appeared on his face.

"I didn't though, did I? I wasn't..."

I raised my arm to slap him but he caught my wrist and started squeezing it. The pain shot up my arm. His light eyes visibly darkened whilst they bore into me as my arm started to become numb. A single tear rolled down my face. I knew what was coming next if he got angrier. I tried to pry his rough hand from mine but it was like trying to lure a fat guy from a triple chocolate cake.

"You're hurting me." I looked up at him with pleading eyes; the only thing that I could do. I felt so pitiful and feeble. Whispering for him to cease was the only justifiable action. If I raised my voice even half a decibel higher it would have been as if I had murdered his mother. A gush of air blew around me as he rammed me backwards slamming me into the nearest wall. Internally I shouted at myself for even opening my mouth. Better yet, I was regretting even prohibiting him to even have sex with me. Why couldn't I have just grown up and did what I was supposed to do; just please him.

"You love me doing this to you? Huh?!" His voice was low but still filled with rage and intimidation.

He clasped his right hand around my throat whilst the other reached down and started unbuttoning my jeans.

"Shae." I knew that I sounded pathetic but I also was smart enough to know that I couldn't overpower him.

"You want me to force you?" His fingers dug deeper into my flesh causing my airways to lose space. My watery eyes fluttered as I struggled to breathe already feeling ungrateful of the gift to breath.

"No."

"I can't fucking hear you!"

My jeans were already halfway down my legs before I gave in.

"I'll have sex with you." He loosened his grip on my airway.

The look in his eyes softened as he released me.

He violently latched onto my lips whilst walking us both to his bedroom. As I felt my clothes being ripped off my body, I knew that I had to do something so that this ordeal was over with quicker. I had to think of him. The guy that I had been in love with for as long as I could remember but I knew that no relationship could progress. Although I couldn't have him, I forced my impure thoughts of him to take over my mind.

Closing my eyes, I imagined grabbing onto his firm, well-built arms and his striking eyes never leaving mine as he made love to me deeply and affectionately exactly how every woman deserved. Lightning bolts of pleasure struck at my pearl as I was being ravished. Without warning I felt myself about to explode with pleasure that I hadn't felt in over a year. Suddenly I felt warm breath streaming into my ear.

"Fuck, Raquel!" All pleasure had died from my body. My eyes shot open with a stream of tears cascading down the sides of my face.

"Stop!" I quickly tried to push Shae from me, continuously begging him to stop.

He wouldn't. He never did. I felt as if I was being ripped in half and memories from the years prior to knowing Shae flooded my thoughts. Shae placed his hand over my mouth to settle my screams as he continued to take away the dignity I had left. I should have just left when I had the chance. The strength that he had to keep me quiet and hold me down was shocking. I didn't recognise this was the man that I was once obsessed with.

"Raquel, I'm gonna ..." He pulled out of me before releasing himself on my body. To say I felt used and disrespected was an understatement. I wasn't even mad at him. I was to blame; I was too weak. I could only let out low whimpers like a pathetic child. He then bundled himself under the duvet, turning away from me.

"Go and clean yourself up." I heard his muffled order from the other side of the bed. I didn't know if I could move.

With my heart and head pounding simultaneously, I carefully did as I was told and climbed into the shower. I turned the temperature as high as it could go. I knew that I needed to try and wash away the dirt and disappointment. The tears wouldn't stop coming as I slid on to the shower floor.

Who is Raquel?

My name is Nyla.