Lost in Oblivion

Meet Jennifer

Hello everyone. I felt as if it was my turn to talk to you for a while. Jessica has had enough fun and I don't feel she would accurately portray what happened next.

Before we get to the big reveal, I feel it's only proper to give you a little information that Jessica might have, forgotten. Or left out purposefully. I wouldn't put that past her.

I didn't know Jessica existed until the whole David debacle. I always felt as if I was somehow fighting a demon. I just didn't know the demon was so connected to me.

Jessica is a demon, in a sense. She's been living inside me forever. And I've been fighting every thought and emotion she's had because I didn't know what it was. It surely felt like a demon. Her very every thought felt like a lightning bolt in my head. Her every emotion felt like fire licking my heart.

I always felt as if something was wrong with me. As if I had this dark secret that no one could ever possibly find out or they'd admit me to a mental asylum thinking I was crazy.

Now that I know it was just her, it's easier to live with. I can let a lot of stuff go knowing it's her thoughts and not my own eating away at my soul. Knowing that loving two people was not my fault but hers gets me through a lot of days.

I can see why she fell in love with David. He's everything she is. Egotiscal and arrogant. Thinks hes always right and everyone should bow down to him. Just like Jessica has always thought she knows best and her way is the only right way. They're perfect for each other.

I can also see why I thought it was me who had fallen for him. Jessica's love for him was so strong that it overtook all of me. She fell so hard that I couldn't differentiate between my feelings and hers.

Then I fell in love with Lee and that's when things got complicated. Jessica thought she was pulling all the strings and had everything under control. She was so set with her mission that she couldn't see that I actually loved him. And that's what threw her plans so off course.

She thought David effected my emotions so much, she couldn't break through to him. In reality, she was so in love with him that she couldn't break through for fear of giving herself away. So she used me as a conduit.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anything bad about Jess. I love her dearly. She had no control over who she fell in love with or that she was trapped in my body fighting her way to the surface all the time.

But I do know it put me through hell. I fell for Lee but her love for David was so strong it over powered both of our emotions and took over for a while. Until he decided to break me, and that's when all hell broke lose.

Little did he know that he was going to cause a break in me that Jessica had to deal with. Because on that fateful night, he had no clue he was going to cause Jessica to come through and wreak havoc on my defenseless soul.

No one could have known what would happen. Not only did he hurt me because I thought I was in love with him because Jessica did. But he hurt Jessica deep enough that her anger and rage just about split my soul apart.

So not only was I fighting the hurt and rejection from David. I was fighting the pain and rage of Jessica. I had no chance of survival. Until I felt her clawing her way through and figured everything out. 

I let Jessica come to the surface because I needed time to heal. I needed time to get my bearings again and make a game plan. I had to think this all through and figure out the best way to handle everything. Balancing Jessica, David and Lee was no easy task.

So I let Jessica keep fooling around with David. Because I couldn't ask her to give him up. I couldn't just alienate her from everything she had worked so hard for. And I pretended like I had no clue she was  manipulating Lee. Because I was in love with him and couldn't give him up either.

It was working out so well. Jessica got her rondevous with David, I got my time with Lee and everyone was happy. Until Lee had to go and mess  everything up again.

I had dreamed of the day he would ask me to marry him. I didn't expect it would come this soon. But I spent endless hours picturing us together. So when he asked me, I could no longer ignore the fact that everything I did effected Jessica.

This would mean the end of her and David. And the beginning of her hating me for yanking her away from the one thing she got to enjoy. I couldn't do that to her. So I only saw one solution.

Bring it all out in the open and have everyone on the same page. I wish you could have seen Lee's face. It was priceless. He looked as if he was a little kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

And I could feel Jess panicking. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess and then some. She felt betrayed and caught and like she was losing. But I was going to ease both of their fears. I had a plan and they'd have to go along with it. If either of them wanted to keep me around.

I had Jessica stay just below the surface where she could contribute without getting in the way but let me explain myself in the process.

I let both of them know I had known about Jess for a while. And I knew her and Lee had a deal and how she was still in love with David. 

I can feel Jess protesting inside so I'm gonna hurry this up. No doubt she'll want to tell you her side of all of this. And I'm sure it will be quite colorful.

But in the end, I said yes to Lee and he "met"  Jessica. And all of us lived through it. I'll let Jessica tell you the rest.