Let me hear your thoughts [camren - au]

11

Salty.

That's what Lauren's first kiss tasted like. It was one night during summer solstice when she sat with her best friend by the beach. It was dark. But she can make out the constellations above them. It was quiet and at the same time it isn't.

They can hear the soft roll of the waves stumbling through the shore. They were laughing, talking about candies and gummy worms and marshmallows. Lauren was humming a song, staring at the lighthouse in the distance.

"~Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch.

Out of focus, eye to eye, till the gravity's too much.~"

At the part of the song, their eyes met. Lauren swears she's two seconds from melting. Lucy is staring at her. It was dark. But Lauren can trace Lucy's face even when she's asleep.

"Sing that part again." Lucy murmured.

Lauren was confused as to which part, so she started singing from the start.

"~Put your lips close to mine as long as they don't-"

Then Lauren stopped breathing. It was dark. But Lucy is just inches away from her. Her nose almost touching hers and her eyes glued to Lauren's lips.

Lauren can feel her heart trying to pump its way out of her chest. Her visions getting blurry from the lack of oxygen, still not remembering how to breathe. She's nervous and excited and afraid and it was dark.

"Sing that again." Lucy breathed unto her mouth.

"~Put your lips close to mine as-"

And the lyrics didn't do their lips any justice. It was dark. But their lips touched. And Lauren swears it tasted like the ocean.

-

Lauren lay awake Thursday night thinking about a lot of things. Or maybe it was Friday morning. She can't sleep. She had tried every position but she doesn't feel comfortable at any of them. She tried drinking a glass of milk, has read two chapters from Glass Sword and has listened to all the tracks from i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it twice. She tried counting sheep until even the sheep can't stay awake anymore.

Lauren's deepest fear is not heights. Not choking to death. Not cockroaches. Lauren's deepest fear is not being able to fall in love again.

Call her cliche. But Lauren feels like she already felt love to its extent and she'll never find someone who's gonna make her feel that way again.

She's afraid that true love would only come once, and that it already did. And that she already lost it.

And she missed it. She missed the feeling of loving and being loved back. She missed the butterflies and moths in her stomach. She missed the feeling of wanting to tell someone about something good that happened to her.

She missed the slamming doors and three am breakdowns. She missed the pillow-ruining cries and the physical tug at her chest when she's hurting. She missed the pain that came with loving someone so hard, it physically hurts.

She missed love. And she's thinking whether she'll fall in love again.

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