So this is my life.
I wake up, I check social media, I go to college, I come home and watch YouTube or Facetime my bestfriend, Beth. That's pretty much my day to day life anyway. I guess you could say I'm a vlogger too. A pretty small one but it all...
Ethan turned up 40 minutes later in his truck. He leant against the door, folding his arms and stared at me. I stood up and walked over to him. He raised his eyebrow, shook his head, grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a hug. He kissed my forehead as I buried my face into his chest. "You're worried". I nodded. "I'll tell him." "No, I need to be the one to tell him" "Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded again. "Kyla, if you regret it, just tell me and we'll forget it ever happen-.." "I don't. I just don't want to hurt Gray." Ethan sighed "you love him, I know". He lifted my chin, looking into my eyes. "When's it my turn to be loved?" "Just please don't tell Grayson. I'm going to.." Ethan agreed to say nothing.
Back at the Warehouse, we all sat and played Mario Kart and Party. I bet both of them, despite them both talking a big game. "No way! You cheated!" Ethan insisted. "How can I cheat at Mario Kart?! You're having a laugh". "You lost bro, deal with it" Grayson laughed. Everything felt back to normal again, we all sat eating pizza and playing games for hours.
"Kyla, we've gotta go to the beach.." Gray said. "The sunset, right?" Ethan glanced over at me. I nodded. "I'm just gonna grab a shirt, one sec" Gray said walking upstairs. "Kyla, you should tell him at the beach" E whispered to me. I sighed "I'll try".
When Gray and I finally arrived at our beach, we took our normal walk, holding hands down the steps and to the rocks we'd always sit by.
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"Are you okay, Kyla?" Grayson asked. "Yeah, I guess I've just got a lot on my mind lately.." He hugged me, trying to comfort me. "I'm here for you always, no matter what." I looked up at him. "No matter what?" He nodded. "Promise?" I asked. He held out his little finger "Pinky promise". I giggled, he made me forget everything that had happened for a while. Grayson had been my source of comfort since I found him on Vine. Looking into his eyes, he smiled down at me and leant in to kiss me. At first, I hesitated as my mind wandered back to Ethan and last night with him but I overcame my thoughts and kissed Gray. He was my own Heaven and Hell, I loved it. I needed him as much as he needed me. Gray might only be my best friend, but I'd never felt the way I do about him with anyone else. Ethan, on the other hand, was something completely different, still, I'd never felt the way I feel about Ethan with anyone else.
These boys will be the death of me, I swear.
Whilst Gray and I watched the sunset, I sat and thought about how to tell him what I'd done. I tried to think of what I could say to lighten the load. Nothing. Nothing I could say would make it any better, it'd tear him up. I couldn't do that to him. I thought about Ethan's offer to forget anything ever happened. He said if I regret it, we'd pretend it didn't happen. As I thought about it more, it started seeming like the best option. Maybe my feelings for Ethan were just lust and not actual love but, at the same time, I felt something strong enough to keep going back to him. I didn't want to pretend Ethan and I never had sex.
I knew I loved Gray, I'd told him already. I'd chosen him and told Ethan. Ethan and I could never actually be together, we'd always have to hide it from Gray. I knew he wouldn't ever accept it, especially if he did truly care for me as much as he claimed to.
So, if my feelings for Ethan were just lust, why couldn't I stick to my decision to be with Gray when Ethan turned his back on me?
I wanted Gray, right? I loved Gray.
(Hey guys!😊 I'm so sorry for the slow uploads, I'm going down to Essex until the 4th October so uploads will continue to be every few days until then. They will then return back to normal after that.🙃
