My BestFriend, Grayson

Chapter 52 - Proud

Car rides, with too many people in one car, always made my anxiety flare up, however, too many thoughts were flying through my brain for me to even acknowledge Beth or Grayson in the car with us. I glanced over at Ethan a few times, trying to figure out what he meant when he said I wouldn't understand what's wrong with him. He lent his head against the window and stared up at the sky. His face looked soft but defeated, like he didn't know what to do with himself. He was a lot different to the Ethan I woke up to this morning. Part of me knew I needed to talk to Gray, maybe ask him what they spoke about to make Ethan act like this. Just as that thought popped into my head, I looked forward to see Grayson looking at me through the mirror. He half smiled and then turned his attention back to driving.

Arriving at Sean's funeral, Lisa saw us and came over to talk to us all. From how Beth and her spoke, I could tell they'd already met each other. I figured that she knew the situation between Grayson and I now which made me feel slightly better. Everyone seemed fine until Sean's coffin arrived in a black car. I felt someone grab my hand, it was Grayson. We looked at each other for a moment before he began shaking. Looking to Ethan, his jaw clenched and his breathing was heavy. He closed his eyes and turned away from the coffin, I held his hand and did my best to smile at him.
"You're okay" I whispered to him for support.
"I know" he whispered back, trying to act strong.

Lisa was holding Grayson's other hand, she looked at me and tried to smile through her tears before walking inside the funeral parlour with Beth.
"I'll be inside" Ethan said before kissing my cheek, leaving me outside with Grayson.
"Kyla, I don't know if I can do this" Gray said, still shaking.
"Gray-"
"Please stay with me. I need you right now..."

I swear I felt my heart sink when he said those words to me.

There was no hiding it, I was still in love with him.
"I'm here, Gray." He then proceeded to pull me into his chest and hold me tightly. As soon as I felt his arms around me, a lump in my throat formed. I did my best to gulp back my tears but this moment with Gray had only made me realise that I missed him. I missed talking to him, spending time with him... He was my best friend after all. The smell of Grayson, it was comforting to me. I looked up at him, he smiled, wiped away the tear on my cheek and kissed my forehead.
"Don't cry, you'll set me off" he laughed as he sniffled.
"I'm fine" I smiled at him. "We should probably join everyone inside." He took a deep breath and agreed.

Walking inside, Gray held my hand as we walked to the front of the room to join his family. Rows of seats and flowers filled the room with a large black coffin at the front of the room surrounded by candles. Ethan's attention was turned to the both of us, part of me hoped he'd understand why I were holding his hand. I hoped he'd see that I was trying to support the both of them. Lisa hugged me when we reached the front of the room, I then sat next to Ethan and he held my hand tightly. I lent my head on his shoulder, trying not to get makeup on his suit but support him anyway. He kissed my forehead and rested his head on mine.
I'll admit that the actual funeral was a little short but the burying process was next. Sean's closest family and friends were able to say a few words before placing flowers on top of his coffin. After Lisa had said a few words, she walked back over to me and held my hand. I did my best to comfort her, Ethan and Grayson were up next. They both walked up to the coffin, Grayson was still shaking but thankfully Ethan put his arm around him. It was nice to see them come together after everything that had happened this past month.

"Dad" Ethan started. "You taught me so much. You taught me to be strong even when everything seemed lost and pointless. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for you. I want to thank you for everything you've done, for supporting Gray and I whenever we needed you. I love you... If I'm ever half the man you were, I'll be proud of myself. I hope I can make you proud too."

"You gave me everything" Grayson spoke up. "You made me who I am today, you made me stronger when I thought the world was against me. You protected E and I through everything, through all the bullying. You supported us in moving to LA even though we were young and stupid. I know you fought a horrible battle, but you didn't lose in my eyes. You're still here with us, fighting everyday. You hid everything from us, all the pain you were in. You still managed to put on a smile every time you saw us. You're so much stronger than I'll ever be and I'll forever admire that. We didn't say it enough..." he then looked to Ethan "but we love you, Dad."

They both then laid flowers on top of the coffin and hugged each other before walking back over to Lisa, Beth and I. Ethan pulled me into his chest, his breathing was shaky and deep. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tightly.
"I'm proud of you, sweet" I whispered to him. He held me tighter and sniffled.
"I love you, babygirl." I pulled away slightly, looking at the tears on his face. I stroked his cheek then leaned in and kissed him.
"I love you too".

"Kyla, I can't lose you. No matter what... I don't know what I'd do without you."
"I'm here, E."

(Don't throw ducks at me if you cried, I'm sorry. 🦆😭

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