So this is my life.
I wake up, I check social media, I go to college, I come home and watch YouTube or Facetime my bestfriend, Beth. That's pretty much my day to day life anyway. I guess you could say I'm a vlogger too. A pretty small one but it all...
I laid on Gray's bed, staring at the ceiling. I needed to be away from Ethan right now and I'm sure he wanted to be alone considering Sean had just passed. He wouldn't admit it but I knew he was more upset than he tried saying he was. I'd already tried calling Gray at least 12 times, he never answered, not even a text to tell me he was okay. I wanted to go after him earlier but, if I'm being honest, he scared me. I didn't like this side of him, I'd never seen him act like that before, though it was perfectly understandable. I had a feeling that Gray and I were no longer dating, our relationship had lasted about an hour.
Huzzah.
I missed him already, I just wanted to know he was safe and okay. 'Ethan sent a text' 'Are you okay? I know you don't want to see me right now, but I'm here for you. I'm always here for you.' 'I know, E. Thankyou... I'm okay.' 'You don't need to pretend around me, you know that, Kyla.' I'll admit that I hated how well he knew me. I wasn't okay, far from it. I wanted a hug, someone to tell me everything would be okay. I wanted to be there for Ethan and Gray but I knew being around them right now would make things worse. I tried falling asleep cuddling Grayson's hoodie that night, just to feel closer to him. Knowing I could have lost the best thing that had happened to me, I felt somewhat empty.
Why had I been such an asshole?
Suddenly, I heard knocking coming from the wall. I walked over and knocked back, knowing it was Ethan. It was muffled, but I understood what he said. "Kyla?" "Yeah?" "I know you want to be alone... but... I need you right now." I sighed and hit my head gently against the wall. "You don't have to see me, I just need to hear you and know you're there." "I'm here, I'm always here. You know that."
And for some reason, Ethan and I sat talking through the wall for about an hour. I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to risk kissing him. Both of our heads were a mess and I didn't want to do something stupid that I'd regret. Besides, Gray and I could still be together.
Who am I kidding? Why would he still want me?
The next morning, I rolled over to check my phone. Still nothing. No calls or texts from Grayson. I sighed, locked my phone and walked downstairs to be met by Ethan in the kitchen. "I ran to the store and grabbed more Lucky Charms for you" he smiled at me. "Thankyou". "How'd you sleep?" "Not that well." My phone buzzed, I grabbed it to find a text. Just not from Grayson. "He'll be okay." I looked up at Ethan. "I can tell you're worrying about him" he continued. I sighed, poured myself a bowl of Lucky Charms and sat down at the breakfast bar, joining E. "How're you feeling?" "I'm getting there. Mom's coming over today, she wants to see us. Obviously Gray isn't here, but yknow." I nodded. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his neck. "Thankyou for being here. I know we haven't been that close since our fight... I kinda ignored you and I'm sorry for it. You just... You said we could be friends an-" "It's okay, E. I get it. You're not the only one who was hurt by it. I cried that night too." "How do you know I cried?" "I heard you through the wall. It broke my heart..." There was a moment of silence as he looked into my eyes.
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"I love you, Kyla. I'm sorry. I've tried stopping, but you're all I want." His eyes filled with pain and hurt, he leant in, but I pushed him away before he reached my lips. "Sorry, that was stupid..." I laughed a little at him, he smiled at me. "Do you wanna go out today?" "Where?" "Our cliffs? I know you like to be up there when you've got a lot on your mind. I figured we could go together this time instead of me driving around LA looking for you." "Sure, I'm gonna go fix my face and then we can go." He laughed at me. "What?" "I haven't heard you say that in a while, I don't know, it kinda made me feel better." I kissed his forehead and walked upstairs into Gray's room to do my makeup. I wasn't too sure if spending time with Ethan was something I needed, but I knew he needed me right now and I wanted to be there for him.
Just before we left, I tried phoning Grayson again. "You have reached the voicemail of.." Then Grayson's voice came through the phone. "Grayson Dolan"
Eventhough it was only a voicemail message, I felt comforted hearing his voice.
Gray, where are you?
(2.3K already?! 😱 You guys are killing it, thankyou!
Also guys, we're about 3/4 through this story already. I can't believe it! Chapter 34 already 🙃
