In The Hands Of The Doctor

Chapter 23: The what if....

You know that moment in time when there's literally only one thing blocking you from seeing the brighter side of a situation. This one little thing disturbs your mind whether you're sleep or awake. Reality then shows us that the situation isn't as little as we try to convince ourselves.

I clasp the last button on Abby's jacket after I look into her eyes. She won't make eye contact with me and sadly I'm fine with it. If she looks at me she wants to see reassurance looking back at her but I can honestly say I need it as well.

Getting ready this morning hasn't been the same as our past mornings. Sarah would have a chirpy attitude and Abby would giggle from every little thing the 3 of us rambled about. Like there was no care in the world. This morning there's a weight on everyone's shoulder.

We hear the horn outside letting us know that Seth has arrived. Abby grabs my hand and I grab my tan cardigan to throw over my flowey white dress.

Sarah stands at the door allowing us to walk out first so she can lock up. When I exit I see Seth leaning against his car on the phone. As he looks up and sees us he hangs up. His eyes scan over my dress and I now realize how exposing it is. To some it's probably modest but I've never had the confidence to wear something like this until now I guess.

When I make it in front of him I immediately wrap my arms around his torso feeling his warm embrace. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without his hugs.

"Morning, you look beautiful." He whispered in my ear before pulling back and giving me a light peck on the lips.

"Thanks." Even on the most intense day he can make me blush.

He picked Abby up and talked to her as he put her in the back seat of the car. I got in the back seat as well considering it'd probably be more appropriate to let Sarah get in the front.

After everyone was loaded in Seth went over how everything would go. He explained that I would have to speak and give my opinion on everything as well as Abby. Mainly talk about how stable we feel about our current conditions.

The rest of the ride was filled with a very uncomfortable silence. Everyone seemed to be in there own little world. I feel like it's just officially dawned on me that I could lose a very important part of my life just as quick as I got him.

What would life be like without him? It's just as heart breaking as the thought of losing Abby. She use to be the only one I couldn't live without but now there's Seth, Sarah, Llaya and Leu. In this moment in time having people that care for you is a blessing and a curse.

The few months I've spent with Seth and Sarah has made up for the years of hurt I've gone through. I wiped my face as a silent tear made its way down. When I looked up I caught Seths eyes looking at me through the the rear view mirror. I looked over to Abby and back at him hoping he understood that I didn't want him to say anything that would show Abby how afraid I was.

He wanted to say something and it was killing him that he couldn't comfort me. I gave him a weak smile letting him know I was okay and I returned to the familiar scenery outside my window.

We had finally arrived to the court. The walk down the hall was quite and the lawyer met up with us. Sarah carried Abby and talked with the lawyer. Seth quickly pulled me over to the side in the corner.

"What's up?" I asked concern in my eyes.

"I just wanted to let you know that no matter what happens today we can make us work. I'll wait until we can be together again and I'll even visit if it comes down to it."

"Seth I can't let you do that. You're to busy to keep traveling back and forth I can't let you put that stress on yourself."

"It's a good thing I didn't ask you then." He smiled down at me showing me he's already made up his mind. I placed I soft kiss on his lips. "Yeah there's no way I'd be able to live without those." I giggled and rolled my eyes at his comment.