The 1975 // A change in heart

Chapter Thirty || MUSIC FOR CARS

Date: August 5th 2017

Location: London, England

8 Months Later

When I woke up the clouds were slightly blocking the sun so the sky was this weird shade of gray with bits and pieces of the sun shining through which gave the clouds this glow.

The first I thing I did after opening my eyes was sit up and pull my laptop in between my crossed legs. I had twenty-seven emails to answer and fourteen missed calls from Jamie. When I glanced at the clock I realized how utterly late I was.

Normally Jamie and I start our days before the sun even is up. He has kids and I have devoted myself to a strict early morning jog around my neighborhood then breakfast as the sun rises. Last night thought I didn't hit the sheets till well after midnight so it only made sense that I would wake up after the sun and the rest of London was awake.

I started with the emails because despite Jamie's calls I had already missed our first meeting and wouldn't miss the second seeing as how I was already up. The first few emails were venue request, some of Jamie's newer bands were going on tour and as my new job demanded I was in charge of their tours.

The next set of emails were regarding The 1975. Interviews, promotions, festivals. Everything they could possibly do now that they were done with tour was entirely up to me to decided and usually I say yes to just about everything.

The final set of emails were job offers. Word had gotten around of how I quickly I moved up the food chain in Jamie's company and with the bands and being their public relations specialist as Jamie calls it. The girl who had no experience managed to kill it when it came to doing exactly what I was asked to do.

Normally I turn them down but one stuck out to me and as I read it over and over again I just left it alone then finally climbed out of bed.

After answering emails like I do every morning I always either go running if I didn't in the morning or I take a shower. I did the latter because I truly wasn't feeling like running.

After my shower I strolled into my kitchen in my comfy robe and started frying some eggs. My workout comes with a meal plan, normally I follow it. Avocado toast and egg whites for breakfast, a smoothie bowl of my appetite isn't there. Fish for lunch, salmon or white cod maybe sushi if I don't mind the extra calories. Finally for dinner light meat or wheat grain pasta.

Today I just wasn't feeling the workout which meant I wasn't feeling the food that came with it so fried eggs and hash brown it was. My local super market took time adjusting too but now I fall more and more in love with it each day.

You're probably wondering what happened in the last eight months?

It's kinda weird. After we left Bali on separate flights home Jamie gave me ample time to take to myself which ended up being spent in Washington with Isis for a few weeks. Eventually the sadness formed into motivation and I went back to work.

I tried for a really long time to stay on the bus with them but it was too hard. At first we didn't speak to each other but that just made my job extremely hard. When we did speak it was only short sentence that ended in me storming away because I was having an anxiety attack and him brushing it off because he is Matty.

That's also another thing, anxiety. I had it when I was a teenager but like to think I grew out of it as I became more social. Losing him in the aspect that I did made me feel alone again which then brought in this anxiety. Large crowds and Matty Healy now make it hard to breathe and sadly not in a good way.

Since being on the bus and seeing him only made the anxiety worse Jamie did the best thing ever. He offered me a job working back in London at Dirty Hit Records. I would still being doing everything I did on the road I would be just doing it for more bands and away from Matty.