The 1975 // A change in heart

Chapter Twenty-Six // Theraputic Discomfort

Date: December 21st

Location: London, England

She sat across from me. Skin darker than Isis however she glowed like the goddess that she was. Her hair pinned back into a bun and this look on her face.

"Whenever you're ready Abigail" she said softly. When I walked in she called me Miss Ortiz in her cute British accent. She offered me water and when I declined she ask me to sit on the teal couch. She said I could lie down if I wanted but it was my first visit and I felt off about that.

"Where do I start?" I asked softly. This was scary.

"Well what brought you in?" She asked and I shifted.

Therapy was recommended by everyone. My wounds hadn't healed yet and I never finished therapy back home so Jamie found me one in London, the best London had to offer, then made me the first appointment available. Which was sadly today.

"I did something" I started to say then stopped. "And I don't know how to live with it or tell my boyfriend about it"

She raised an eyebrow and shifted forward. "What exactly did you do?"

"I was pregnant" I said with tears on the brim on my eyes. Saying it aloud made it real and lately I've been saying it a lot. "But around the same time I found out he cheated on me, so I left him and then I decided all on my own that I couldn't raise a child so I-"

"You aborted it?" She asked, she was good. Normally people say that word with disgust and attach shame to it. She was soft and gentle and just showed no emotion at all. "And that's why you're here"

I nodded my head and bit down on my lip. "I need to talk about it because it's healthy to talk about it but everyone in my life is an asshole"

"Okay so lets start with your boyfriend, why is it so hard to tell him?" She asked and I frowned because I thought she was supposed to have the answers not me.

"He's in a band, a really popular band" I smiled softly because no matter what I'll always be so proud of him. "When we met he was a mess, he does drugs, he never sleeps, he loves red wine, he's never home. He was in a relationship when we met but they broke up and-"

"He does drugs?" She asked, I hated that she only took drugs out of that whole description but I felt it was obvious that she would. I would.

"Weed" I nodded then squinted my eyes. "He used to be addicted to coke, I'm almost positive he pops pills before and after his shows but they like to keep me in the dark about things"

"They?" She asked and I nodded my head. "Who exactly are they?"

I smirked to myself because she really wasn't ready for the thunder. "They is his manager Jamie who's a dad to everyone, he's the one who made me take a leave of absence. Then we have his band mates also his brothers Ross, Adam and George and to top it all of his biggest enabler James"

She nodded then wrote something down. "So they let him abuse drugs and lie to you about it?"

"I'm confusing you right?" I asked and she shook her head. "Can I tell you our story?"

"You can tell me anything" she smiled, so pristine.

"We met as a project for school. He was on tour for the summer and in a relationship with this girl who I now consider a great friend. At first I resisted but he got me" I smiled cringing at the thought of it.

"How was your relationship?" She asked.

"We fought about his ex a lot. If you see her you would understand why. I'm not his type, he goes for skinny white girls who-" I started to say then stopped. "Anyways she was an issues and then we fought about my life choices"