The 1975 // A change in heart

Chapter Eight || Down the rabit hole

Date: September 20th

Location: Los Angeles, CA

She flew into town yesterday morning, she called. She's with Louis. They called an wanted to see me but I didn't call them back and I don't think I want to.

It's one thing if Matty lies to me, I expect Matty to lie to me at this point it's the only thing he knows how to do.

But I figured since me and Gemma have gotten drunk together and she's seen me at my worse that she would always be truthful with me and always support me because at this point she wasn't just Matty's friend but mine as well.

That's what I get for getting my hopes up.

I know I shouldn't take it out on poor Louis who just wants to see me but seeing him means seeing them and I really just don't want to hear their bullshit anymore.

Also it doesn't help that I basically confessed my love to him the other. I left after and I don't know why I said it or where I came from but I have tried my hardest to have that conversation with myself.

"A" Calvin sighed as he climbed into bed next to me. "Talk to me"

"About?" I asked finishing up a guest list for Linda on my laptop.

"You called off from work today, and yesterday you stayed in bed despite the sale at Chanel" he said softly rubbing my arm. "What happened?"

"I have major strep" I said rubbing my throat. "Think I'm dying"

"You've gone through a bottle and a half of our good wine, what did he do?" He asked and his conflict with Matty was another problem just weighing me down.

Every time I went outside my door Calvin would bring up Matty, am I going to see Matty, when was the last time I saw Matty. His controlling boyfriend act was really starting to make me mad, I needed a boyfriend not a dad.

"He did nothing, it's not him I swear" I lied, I was starting to lie to him and I felt bad but then again I didn't.

"So what is it?" He sighed.

"You're becoming annoying" I sighed slamming my computer shut. "I'm allowed to have bad days, I went eight months having bad days and being sad I'm allowed to have bad days Calvin I don't need a fucking interrogation"

"No you're not allowed to have bad days, just because that prick let you have bad days doesn't mean I will" he snapped frustrating me even more.

"No!" I snapped springing out of bed. "You don't get to do that!"

"Do what Abigail?!" He screamed and his anger was actually slightly terrifying.

"You don't get to always make him look like the bad guy, this fight isn't about him this is about us! I'm having a bad day you playing twenty questions with me isn't fucking helping!" I screamed trying to be as scary as him.

"You know what Abigail" he snapped springing out of bed as well. "This, this fucking bullshit you call a relationship is over until you decide who's more important. I'm not playing second to that British bitch!"

"You don't have to!" I screamed tucking my hair away from my face. "You swear this is some competition but you're fucking insane!"

"You have to decide because I'm done" he said and I nodded.

"They'll never be out my life and I'm sorry but that's a decision I won't make because you're insecure, get over your insecurities Calvin because you'll ruin us not me" I said softly. He didn't say anything he just left.