Trying to reach you- Jungkook ff (COMPLETED)

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Frustration

YOONGI'S POV

Red. All I see was red. Those glass door gave me the biggest horrified expression I could muster. For once in my life I felt so scared of loosing someone. I stood strong when mom fought cancer, but this, I don't know if I can take it.

What lies behind those doors was the person that I felt the need to protect. She was the lost that I had to endure for her own happiness. She was the sacrifice I regretted committing, because look how it got us now.

A long steady beep caught my attention, and almost immediately those glass doors opened, creating chaos within the room. The image I saw made me sick to the stomach.

There she was, covered in her own blood. Her skin, even paler than mine. Cuts and bruises filled her arms. Her beautiful being was destroyed from the incident. I wished I had closed my eyes to avoid seeing such thing, but it scares me to think that if I didn't, it might be the last I've seen of her.

The whole time I have been contemplating of what I have and haven't done. From the part I've loved her dearly, up until now. I still love her as much, maybe even more. But can't help but think what if I strived to get us together, would there be a difference? Because seeing her like this pains me so much that I'd rather rot six feet under than let her die like this.

Hours later the doctor came out with a terrible news that she is in a coma. I should be happy that she is alive, but being motionless make it seem like she's dead anyway. Anger build up within me.

I can no longer stand being here.

I have to get out.

I need to get out.

Without speaking to anyone, I walked away from that hellhole. Tears started to prick my eyes, but I held it back. As soon as the glass doors opened the cold breeze hit my face. I should have shivered from the cold, but I felt numb. I hated being in the cold, but the feeling in my chest is what I hate more.

I staggered along the side walk, bumping many people in the process.

"HEY WATCH IT!" But I couldn't careless.

My mind and heart are both pounding in a way that it kept my ears blocked from the world. I only hear the rapid heartbeat in my chest and the excruciating pain in my head. My whole body ached, as if I was with her when her car was hit by a truck. My mind were only filled with thoughts of her.

On my way to the dorms, I bought two bags filled with beer cans. I wanted to get drunk, but sober up the pain I'm feeling. I've had enough of sufferings, should I really need to suffer more.

I stumbled inside the dorms and saw how the place was a mess, as if someone suffered here first. Tipped soju bottles on the floor, and shards of a broken vase scattered on the floor. I decided to continue the party, having a gulp of my own beer. I finished everything in one gulp, so I opened another,

and another,

and another,

I felt drunk to the wits, but I can't numb the pain. Well fuck that.

I've gone insane a couple of beers later. Laughing because of self-loath and suffering. I'm an idiot who did get to keep his promise. I tilt my head back, completely amused of my idiocy.
I walked along the corridor drinking another can, but I've come across to the only opened door within the hallway. I peeped in the small gap and finally opened it fully, I felt like I was standing of the crime scene. A tipped chair and a rope that hanged in the ceiling. I have a gut feeling that Zia was suppose to use this. Jungkook's room was the only door that seemed to be used since we've left. I suppose the scene before me was made by Zia herself. Again, my heart shattered at the sight, I couldn't take it anymore so I cried. I sobbed and whimpered on the floor thinking of the times I didn't have the chance to protect her. Vivid images of how she would have done something to end her life a couple of times, make the bile rose from my stomach, to chest, eventually nearing its way out.