Try.

Chapter 10: I'd Like to Make You Mine

What did I just do? I let Harry -- I couldn't believe I was foolish enough to let him have his way. Even as I stood in the shower at my own apartment, cleaning myself of this morning's events, I still felt dirty.

I was never taught what exactly Harry had done, I had the birds and the bees talk, obviously; but no one had ever said that you could use your hands.

I heard the door open to the apartment, and I swallowed the lump in my throat, knowing it was Tanner coming home and who knows how he'd talk to me today.

I leaned my head against the shower wall and let the water run down my body. I could hear the bedroom door shut, and I closed my eyes and fretted having to go in there and speak to him.

I let Harry touch me. Tanner and I hadn't even had séx, let alone touch me like that. I was hoping this shower would rid my body of Harry's cologne, but part of me didn't want the smell of him to go away. For some reason, that simple trace of him made me feel safe and secure, and it reminded me of how his arms felt around me.

I stuck my face under the running water, trying to knock some sense into myself. I exited the shower and dried myself off, changing into my clothes and heading out into the living room. The bedroom door was still shut, so I sighed and went to make some lunch.

As I sat on the couch and ate my leftovers from a few nights ago, I heard the door open and I felt my heart sink as Tanner's footsteps came near. I looked over my shoulder and saw him standing there with his arms crossed.

"You came back." He said softly. I pursed my lips and looked away from his eyes as I nodded.

What hurt the most was after he said that, even I began to wonder why the héll I came back.

"I'm sorry, Viv," he said, walking over and sitting down next to me. I set my plate down on the coffee table and looked up at him. "It was stupid of me to act like that. It was immature and I hope you can forgive me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked down at my hands. The same hands that had been running though Harry's hair just hours ago. I felt a chill run up my spine and I hid my shivers by taking a deep breath and I said, "I'm just trying to do my job, Tan. There's always going to be people that I interview who may be like Harry, but you should trust me enough to always come home to you at the end of the day."

It hurt me a little to say that about Harry, but even now his intentions still confused me. He seemed interested in me, but also just wanting my body, but then he makes fun of me, or just ignores me in general. Tanner I knew for sure wanted me, so why was Harry such a big deal? He couldn't even make up his mind, that doesn't mean I can't either.

"I love you, Viv." He said, and took my hand in his. I smiled softly and squeezed his hand.

"I love you too, Tan."

He leaned forward and kissed me, but my mind immediately flashed to Harry and the memory of his fingers touching me like that caused me to moan softly against Tanner's lips. He pulled away and smirked.

"Didn't realize my kisses were that good." He said, and I cringingly smiled as he pecked my lips again.

*

I went to work that following week, and Louis and Leigh-Anne were quick to notice my change in behavior.

"Okay, spill," Louis said. "How did Tanner take it? Clearly not well because you look sick to your stomach."

I sighed and shook my head. "Um, it's kind of a long story."

"I'm all ears," he said. I didn't want to talk about it, but Louis was relentless and I knew he wouldn't give up until I gave him the details.