insane // chris schistad

twenty one

[confessions and chris]

Tuesday 12:17 pm

It had been two weeks, almost three, since that night at Chris' house and I had still not yet spoken to him. I truly wasn't sure if I had done something wrong or if I was just stupid enough to think he had actually changed. All I knew that not receiving a single, even snarky, text from him really made me feel like shit. I was never one to let a boy have this much control over my emotions and thats why I knew I never should have been getting caught up with Chris.

As I kept my head low, I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets and pushed past the people im the halls. I found a vacant table and claimed
it, as I waited for the girls to come for lunch. I opened up my back and pulled out my lunch. I rested my head on my hand, that was propped on the table. Instead of eating my pasta I had packed, I picked at it.

Soon enough the girls had scattered in and our table was now full with the five most important humans in my life. As they began chatting, I joined in, not wanting anyone to think there was something wrong with me. I wasn't one to really cope with my emotions well, and I was sure as hell not going to broadcast them, not even to my best friends. So far, pretending that nothing was wrong for the past 2 weeks was going well since not even Noora had questioned me and she knew when something was up with me.

"So are we going to the Penetrators party tonight or what?" Berg asked all of us, and my heart felt like it had sunk.

I knew I had to do whatever it took to get out of going to this damn party and facing Chris.

"I'm not feeling a party tonight." I spoke up and Vilde raised her eyebrows at me.

"Sassieeeee." Eva dragged the 'e' in my name, pouting that I wasn't wanting to go.

"What's wrong?" Noora asked, starting to sense that something could be wrong and I quickly changed my mind due to the fear of her poking to get what had happened.

"I needed to babysit Mila, but I'll figure something out. Count me in." I quickly lied, almost effortlessly, and I was now doing this way too often.

"Are we skipping classes tomorrow? I don't think I can do a Tuesday night party and come to school." Berg stated, and all of us collectively decided to not go.

I guess that was the only good thing coming out of all of this.

"Did you hear about the fight the penetrators got into with the Yakuza boys?" Vilde went back to gossiping, and Noora rolled her eyes.

"Vilde, why do we have to talk about such negative things?" Noora asked, and the rest of us knew now that this was an argument waiting to happen.

"I mean you know where William is, but everyone else has been wondering where the Penetrators are? Of course we will all see them tonight, but still." Vilde made an attempt to defend herself.

"The school doesn't revolve around thw Penetrator." Noora exclaimed, sounding like her old self before she started dating William and it was quite amusing.

As they began bickering and the rest of us now had entertainment with our food, I was once again lost in my thoughts. Chris usually texted me a lot during lunch, making idiotic comments about how I looked and half of lunch was me looking like an dumbass, trying to find where he was sitting in the cafeteria. Out of habit, I checked my phone, hoping there would be a message from him, even just a 'hi' or even a 'kissing you was a mistake' would have been okay. At least it was something.