Chapter 31 - Smarts

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They all sat down on the couch and Oak twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Y/N Im so so so sorry! I-I just went to grab toys!" Oak said, tears threatening to spill. I calmed myself. "Its ok, please be more careful next time. He could have gotten really hurt. But Oak?" I said bouncing Phillip and smirking. "Hm?" He said picking his head up. "DONT CALL MY BABY DUMB EVER AGAIN! HES LIKE FOUR MONTHS AND ALREADY CRAWLING? SEEMS SMART TO ME SO HA!" Then it was silent for a minute. Then we all bursted into laughter and Phillip shifted uncomfortably in my arms. I set him on the floor and he got on all fours and slowly, very slowly, crawled to the couch. I started crying. "Y/N! Whats wrong?!" Diggs said as he rushed to comfort me. "I-I wi-wish Ant was h-here..." I said in between sobs. Diggs hugged me and I rested my head in the crook of his neck and wept softly. Oak picked up Pip and went to change him. Jazzy went to call Ant to tell him to get his ass home. After a while of crying I had calmed down and Phillip gad fallen asleep. Everyone else left so it was just me. It was dark out and all I could hear were crickets and cars zooming by. I hummed to myself and relaxed. For once I was alone. No one else, it felt weird I was so used to being surrounded by people. Then I heard a soft cry come from Phillip's room. I smiled to myself and sat there for a moment, taking in how blessed I was to have everything I ever wanted in life. I got up and opened the door to his room. He cried but not loud. I picked him up and rocked him in my arms trying to calm him down but it didn't work so I sat down on his rocking chair with him. I rocked back and forth, back and forth. He cried a bit louder so I decided to try something new. "Ok Pip, you might think mamas crazy but if Eliza can do it, I can too. Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit neuf." He still cried. "Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit neuf. Sept huit neuf. One two three four five six seven eight nine." I sang softly, hoping it would work. He slowly fell asleep in my arms. I carefully placed him in his crib and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, my love." I said closing the door of the nursery. I walked down the hallway to my room and got in bed. I laid there then I reached over to Anthony--but he wasn't there. I wanted him home, I know I might sound clingy but I truly missed him and im sure Pip missed him too. I stared at the ceiling, tears stinging my eyes. One tear slid down, then another, then two more, soon my face was flooded with tears. I wiped them away and tried to fall asleep.

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