Fix You [Vic Fuentes]

Chapter 18

Song of the Chapter: Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran

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Name of the chapter: Everything that Falls, Will Eventually Fly. 

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Vic's POV

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Sometimes in the middle of the night, when trying to sleep completely fails, I look up at the ceiling. And on the ceiling are tiny little glow in the dark stars, which make up constellations. These constellations aren't real ones, but ones that I make up with my own imagination. Whenever I look up at the fake star lit ceiling it reminds me of the times me and my brother would lay on the roof during winters after a long day at school, when we were around twelve-ish, and point out 'constellations' in the sky. We'd giggle and laugh together because of the silly things our minds made up, that weren't actually there as we sipped hot chocolate and and snuggled into our sleeping bags.It was then on the roof for the last time, I started realising that I am a person And there are 7 billion other people on earth. some famous, some not. Some that make a difference in the world, and some who walk around unnoticed. But either way, I'll always be the one kid who no one cares about, and if I slipped off the earth, no one would even notice.

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Kayleigh hasn't visited for two days, nor had I heard anything from her. I didn't really care as much as I usually did since I wasn't as huge a priority as Coby, so I didn't let it bother me.

I had this small fear that one day, I'd see Kayleigh walking through the corridors. I'd ask we how she's doing and she'd reply with 'fine'. I would huff because I was looking for a more detailed answer, but let it fly because I knew I'd get too angry. I'd ask her how Coby was, and she'd reply with 'he's better now.' I'd get all excited, thinking he beat the cancer until I realised that what she meant was he is in heaven. I'd starts crying a little, but then ask when he died, her reply would be 'five months ago'.

That's what I fear. I fear that I won't be able to say anything at his funeral. I fear I won't be able to go to his funeral. I fear that I won't know he died, and be a completely happy person although I'm meant to be sad because he's gone. I fear he'll look down on me and be disgusted in the person that i am, and mad at the person he thought i was. That's what I'm afraid of.

I was doing the usual, sitting on my bed, looking out the window whilst playing with the hem on my shirt. I haven't really got anything to do, besides doing absolutely nothing. My days don't involve anything productive, which I'm completely fine with because I don't have any motivation to do anything else anyway.

Today was Thursday, which meant that it was exactly 9 days since the concert which was still imprinted in my mind like it happened moments ago. I always imagine what it'd be like to meet the band, but being as close as I was, I didn't care at all. This concert is the thing keeping me strong at the moment. Which I guess is a good thing. Sort of.

I heard a small knock on the door, knowing exactly who it was. I got up and made my way to the door, feeling extremely light headed and nauseous, and opened it, becoming face to face with the food lady. She had this creepy smile plastered on her face which made me feel uncomfortable, and passed me an apple and a water bottle. I never returned the creepy ass smile- and today wasn't any different. So I nodded my head in a small movement and closed the door in her face. Today felt like a good day for some reason, although I still felt like complete and utter shit.