Fix You [Vic Fuentes]

Chapter 21

Song of the Chapter: For the Love of a Daughter by Demi Lovato

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Chapter Name: It's Been 5 Years Since We've Spoken Last

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Vic's POV

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You know when you see everyone doing something that you feel passionate about, and you think that they aren't as passionate, so you feel this sort-of hatred towards them? Well, that's what I felt when I saw everyone in this room. Not that I feel passionate about funerals, but I feel strongly towards them trying to act like they're upset when they really aren't.

Kayleigh wasn't holding out too well either. Who was I kidding? She wasn't holding out. Her constant tears made me forget what she looked like without water running down her face. Her shaky breaths, and small hiccups led me to try and remember what her voice sounded like before it was broken. All I could do is watch, and try and comfort her if she would let me on the rare occasion. And today is that rare occasion. 

We sat in the corner of the room, while everyone engaged in conversation. Kayleigh laid her head on my shoulder and was practically in my lap. She didn't look up, she just made small sobbing noises, and that was it. Most people stole a quick glance at us, but dare not come over to us. I struggled back a few tears, but I tried not to cry as much as I wanted to. 

I hadn't been able to really focus on my feelings during the past few weeks, but when I did I wasn't sure what I was feeling. I was sad and yet happy at the same time- although I still felt nothing at all. When I wasn't distracted I wanted to fall off a cliff but being distracted made me forget that. So in a way, I kinda hoped that Kayleigh would continue needing to be looked after. 

You're so selfish.

It's okay, Jesus still loves you. 

Time went by, nothing happened. We had to stay, although we both desperately wanted to leave. It was quite awful. But it didn't end here. Both Kayleigh and myself had to do much more after the funeral. We had to sort out Coby's belongings, take them from the hospital. We need to organize a cremation, and then determine what we'd do with his remains. Also, from whatever money he had left, we had to use to pay for the funeral since it was extremely expensive. All these things the movies and books forget to mention. That's why I don't particularly fancy fiction tales, no matter how hard the authors try, they can never get it anything close to the real experience. 

We never spoke, Kayleigh and I, that afternoon. Not directly to each other anyway. She had a look on her face. That look you have when you are physically there, but not mentally. Like her mind was somewhere else. But she held out.