Song of the Chapter: Walls by All Time Low
Chapter Name: Hello I am Kayleigh.
Vic's POV
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If I could do anythingright now It'd be jump out of a window. I am not ready for today, although I got no sleep last night as I was at least trying to prepare for what was to come this morning. I wasn't sure if I was going to be talking or not, paying attention or not paying attention. Hell, I wasn't even sure if I was going to turn up. I was confused, and I hadn't the slightest clue on what was going to happen and I was freaking a little. I paced back an forth from one end of my room to the other, thinking of all the solutions to my biggest problem, but to no avail I was stuck with no options and there was nothing I could do about it.
Well, to start I would have to get dressed into clean clothes -I showered last night- I grabbed a red hoodie, and decided against a green shirt as I didn't want to look like a Christmas decoration, and went for a purple one instead, with my beige chinos and vans.
I panicked when I checked the time, as the breakfast lady would be here any minute and the new Therapist would be present soon after. Why do damn people have to stick so tightly to their schedules? I thought that maybe if I wasn't here, I could think clearly, so I shook my hair and threw a beanie on before opening my door and stepping foot outside my room for the first time since I got here. The stale smell of antiseptic and sterile products invaded my nostrils and I shuddered, that smell bought back too many memories. Memories that I could bare to think about. I looked both ways before exiting to the corridor on the left which I had no idea where it lead to but I went there anyway. Many people were walking around the halls, and I could tell were also here to seek -or forced- mental attention because of their medical bracelets that were similar to the one I was wearing. They all looked like normal people, which made me wonder, is this what I looked like on the outside although I was depressed?
I saw so many wrists with cuts imbedded into them, and I was always wondering about what that person was going through. Did they have abusive relatives? Did they get bullied? No matter the reason, I felt extremely sorry for them and wish I could make it all better for them because no one deserves all that pain and sufferring. I wish no one had to suffer like me, I wish their pain would go away. I would do anything to make that hurt leave, even if it meant giving it myself.
I walked past door after door seeing families together with their children, which made me quite upset. I haven't seen my family in a month. A whole fucking month, and I feel alone as ever. They said they'll visit, and send me letters but I have received nothing. Nothing at all. But its not surprising really, they didn't pay much attention to me anyway, because of my younger brother Mike. He was always the talented one, the 'over achiever', heck, he is even taller than me. No matter what I did as a child, Mike always did something better, which I guess is what bought my self esteem down at first.
I walked quite slow through the halls, and I took in most of my surroundings as I strolled by. Nothing but white walls and doors with small black numbers on them. I walked down a set of stairs, and found myself on the first floor which had the cafeteria for all the doctors, therapists and nurses that stayed here during the day. Some patients eat down here with their therapists during Lunch because most of them become good friends. I could never see me and my therapist becoming friends, I don't see the point, after we spend the required amount of time here we will never see them again. And plus, they don't want help us, they just want money. Nothing else.
I turned and made my way back up the stairs keeping my head down so no one recognised me, because I am not really allowed down here. It took me twenty minutes and a few wrong turns to get back to my room. Typical me not paying attention to where my room is. Before I walked inside I realised that I didn't even figure out what I was going to do, although that was the whole purpose of the little walk around. Gad damn, I get so sidetracked. I have the attention span of a goldfish.
When I got inside my room, I sat straight on my bed because there was nothing else to do but sleep, which I couldn't do because I had this new therapist coming in any second.
Maybe I shouldn't talk to this person.
Maybe I should get to know them as a person before I open my mouth.
Yeah, that seems like a good idea.
Lets go with that.
And just as my decision was made final. I heard a knock at the door. My heart thumped quite quickly, as I am not very good at meeting new people. I just don't like the awkwardness, it makes me uncomfortable.
I reluctantly got up and walked as slowly as possible so i could put this off as much as I could.
I don't want to do this, but I have to so there is no choice.
I turned the door knob, and pulled the door open to reveal a brunette woman standing in front of me. Her hair was long and brown, and her eyes a caramel colour, she had long a long sleeved checkered shirt on and black skinny jeans. Her face had tiny freckles all over, and in her arms she carried a backpack and a clipboard along with a yellow file. She smiled at me, while I just stared back at her not really wanting to move a muscle.
She held out her free hand and said,
"Hello, I am Kayleigh. Your new therapist."
YOU ARE READING
Fix You [Vic Fuentes]
FanficI should be living my life like every second was my last, Not wishing it was, But when I'm with her, I forget the difference.