All Over Again

Part 9

I hear a faint knock on the door and open my eyes, looking up towards sound.  I quickly wipe at my eyes trying to battle the evidence of tears.  I watch as Matthew walks in the room and softly closes the door behind him.  I bite my lip and look down at my hands in my lap and start to pick at my cuticles.  Suddenly his hand reaches down and grabs mine gently pulling it away from my fingers.  I keep gaze pointed down, not willing to look up at him.  "Cas."  I close my eyes and swallow a sob, that's threatening to let itself out.  I can feel Matt's eyes on me and lean towards his body, seeking the warmth and comfort of his arms.  He wraps his arms around me, pulling my closer and allows me to bury my face into his neck and let the tears leak out.  He reaches up and runs the fingers of one hand through my hair, rubbing gentle circles on my back with the other.  "Cassie, honey.  Talk to me, what's going on?"

I shake my head against him and bite my lip.  I pull away from him and draw my knees up to my chest wrapping my arms around them.  I look over towards where Matthew sits and let out a shaky breath.  "I'm scared Matt."  I whisper, as I watch his eyes filled with mixed emotions.  "Jake hates me."  Swallowing hard I wipe my eyes and glance away from him, "He agrees that I'm not worth it, so why do you stay?  You could leave at any time, like everybody else has, and that scares me."  I turn my head up to the ceiling and blink away the tears gathering in my eyes.  "If you leave too, I don't think I could do this any more.  You say you love me but so did Jake, and now he hates me."  I say softly as I bury my head into my arms and struggle to even out my breathing.  

"Cas, baby.  Come here,"  Matthew pulls me to his chest again and this time I let him.  I bury my head into the crook of his neck and cry.  "Cassie, Jake doesn't hate you sweetheart.  He loves you, he's just angry with me right now."  I feel the warmth of his hand running up and down my back, as I try to focus on his words.   "He loves you.  Not as much as I do, but he does love you sweetheart."  I swallow hard, and pull back wiping my face with the back of my hand.

"Matt...."  I start but he shakes his head cutting me off.

"I love you Cassandra.  That hasn't changed, and isn't going to."  He keeps his arms around my waist allowing me to lean against his side.  "I love you more than you know darlin'.  I don't care if it makes Jacob hate me, I'd rather lose him than lose you."  I shake my head and frown at him.

"He's your best friend Matt.  I can't let you just give that up."

"And you're my wife.  I'm not giving that up.  You mean the world to me, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."  I give a watery smile, leaning my head against his shoulder and running my finger across the muscles of his arm.

XxXxXxX

I stand in the bathroom of my apartment staring in the mirror as I fiddle with the thin chain hanging around my neck.  I watch as Matthew appears in the reflection behind me and feel his arms snake around me.  I look at his face in the reflection, taking in the slight shadow that covers his jaw, and the deep color of his eyes.  I reach behind my neck, but he pulls my hands back down before using his own nimble fingers to unclasp the necklace.  He carefully moves it away from my body and stares at it, and looks up locking eyes with me in the mirror.  "You kept them."  He whispers while running his fingers across the engagement ring and wedding band now resting in his hand as the chain hangs down.  

I nod slightly and slowly turn to face him, instead of his image in the mirror.  "I told you, I don't regret it Matt.  I can't get rid of them, we are still married even if it doesn't seem like it."  I trail off, shifting my gaze to the small circles in his hand.  "I kept them on the chain the same as I always did in Colorado."  He gently sets the rings down on the counter and uses his fingers to tilt my chin up to him, before crashing our lips together in a hard kiss.  

XxXxXxXxX

WAHOOO AN UPDATE!!!!! It isn't terribly long but it's an update, and hopefully the next one will be better.  

Cassie and Matt have barely begun their story and will slowly become as they once were, it just needs to happen all over again.