To Create. To Live

"Do Not Talk To Me"

A bloody mess is a job well done

And a constant reminder of how and why you fail

A knife to throat situation,

AKA asking for help

Headaches from crying too hard and nosebleeds from the sniffling

Brutal effort with fearful shame as its escort

Cannot fail, cannot slow down, cannot stop

Gruesome Honesty and her ugly face

Répète après moi s'il vous plaît

No

Sitting quietly and eating myself away,

Too slow but so fast

Choking on air while laughing the pain away

When the brain malfunctions

The body follows accordingly

First a sneeze

Then you can't breathe

And now you fight to stay standing

(It would be wildly embarrassing to fall down the stairs)

Alone and ranting to a mirror

Not like anyone else would listen

What to do? What do I do?

Whispers of threatening tales bring a chill of...

Comfort?

Now truly we've done it incorrectly

Wrong answer is always wrong even when it says it's right

I'm lost in thought again 

Drown me in an old model of an ipod nano

Earbuds in 'Do Not Talk To Me' 

Fine I'll ignore you instead

Maybe this time it'll work

Head on textbook, on table, on floor

Salt on cheeks for a flavorful feast at my minds end

I crack my knuckles and tap my pens

We all smile and look down before anyone has a chance to look us in the eye

Because it must be kept secret

Keep everything a secret

Paint like your hiding something, contour your problems away

A black pen serving temporary ink

With a side of temporary distractions: free on weekdays

Back ally deals and drug infatuation

Trading sanity for education

And grins for lies

We are sick, diseased beyond hope

But what more can we do?

Failure is as consistent as death is inevitable

You play what your dealt because there is no option to fold

I taste blood

I think I'm going to puke